Hmmm

Back to my non writing mode!!! Too much happening to gether to get any sense of things....I don't know how any more wrong decisions I am going to take be that work, personal whatever.... Atleast I know I have improved like hell on my shooping front. I guess the charm of new money does go off soon. I don't even know what I am writing.
OK So let me say something happy, am wearing new jootis that J bought for me, they are a lovely brownish red and are of a very different cut... so thats nice. Wow, I can already think of lot more nice things, I will be home next weekend for One WHOLE WEEK!!! yayay!!!! Totally looking forward to playing with crazy nephew who now a days hums Farhan Akhtar songs!!! and he is not even a year old.... will eat sev puri atleast twice a day... I swear, i miss that stuff like hell.... will meet up with Bulki, Nidhu and Gouri. That hasn't happened in a long time. I think this time I will go to college too, miss that place, specially since I met Aanchal in Delhi and we have been remembering our college days, so definiately will do that. I guess thats enough, and i am feeling better already...Yayayayay!!! am going home!.

Yay Yay!!!

Suchi is back, Aatreyee is in town, I spoke to Nidhu this afternoon, J made yummy baingan last nit!!! Now all i need is maa, manna, gouri and bulki and then I will be just fine..... hey looks like life is already getting better!!!! of course my boss told me this morning 'yeh koi time hai office aane ka???', boohoo!

What do I know about myself?

That I laugh easily and heartily, i love smiling, sometimes I can be a smartass, love to be out in the open in comparision to being at home, but sometimes the opposite is also true, but most of all I am hopefull and a true romantic. Dreams, hope, possibilities are my key words..... but now it looks like it is changing. Its quite amzing how 3 years of women's rights work did not make me bitter, but the past 8 to 9 months have! I dont really know what this is going to lead to, but I just know that I don't wnat to change my basic core as a person. Tell me someone, will my happy, hopeful, positive self actually go away, is this really called maturing and becoming worldly wise? I really don't want it to happen, but sadly I can see that it is!
2008 is the year which showed me financial well being, I felt like I was being rewarded for all the hard work I did, but it is also the year that shattered my heart, like Nidhu says there is this knot in my heart which tightens up when I am reminded or I think of the way this year went, and it does'nt look like this knot is going to loosen up ever. It is now that I can say that I know what it means to be alone in a crowd....... anyways, this will pass too and I will see better days or just different days when I can start dreaming about the future again.

Im Losing it

I have spent almost 9 months in htis workplace and I am going quite crazy... I know the right thing to do is to be patient, save the easy earned money, relax, enjoy blah blah blah blah but you know what, I have had just about enough, I am sick and I am tired of being useless and getting paid for it. I know a number of people would love to trade jobs with me, you know what, be my guest!!!!!!! Its ok. I am done, I have had enough. It is looking so difficult for me to now atleast finish a year here, but since that is the prudent, practical, sensible, smart thing to do..... I am going to do it!!!! Its like there is atest going on in my life, personal front also is identical to the professionsl front.......gaaaaahhhhhh I am seriously losing it, help please, mommmyyyyyyy

Another day passes

Long long time

I haven't written in a long long time!!! and now i dont know what to write, such is life..... bloody!

Durga Puja and Dusehra

This is the first time in my life that I did 2 things on Dussehra: First I visited Durga Puja Pandals in Bengal Land in Delhi i.e. CR Park and I witnessed an effigy of Ravan burning!!! I had 2 days chutti in my office so I was there in my old office chatting up with others. The most funny part is that the three of us (my 2 roomies et moi) will sit besides each other in office also and have our own conversation side main, obviously the others dont seem to get what the hell is going on...nyways! Yesterday all three of us got dressed in beautiful sarees and jewellry. I with another friend went off to see some of the pujo pandals in CR park, had some bengali food and came back to office. Then in the evening we got some people from office home as in the park opposite our house the ravana and co were to be burned. We have seen the artisits working on these effigys right from scratch and it was a pleasant site to see the entire structure ready and standing. ALthough some of the fireworks were quite nice, the effigy had only niosy stuff and that was a crazy experience. Our house btw had became an open air theatre there were people on our terrace, our landlords entire family, some of their freinds whom they permitted to view the site from balcony seats!

After the entire show got over, we had our own masti what with 3 bottles of wine vanishing and jaishree going a bit crazy, it was all quite fun!! Heehee this was a dusssehra i definitely won't phorget!!

Self declared kings!!

The admin guys in my office think they are above us all lesser mortals. In any case their lunch is an elaborate affair, where even most of the senior managment will either eat at their desk or in the common canteen, these guys will have their food served by the pantry guys who will heat it, serve it and after these 'men' have eaten clean up after them. Why does all this happen you may ask, oh but for one simple reason they decide which contractor stays and which contractor goes, thats why!! And obviously they are such scums of this earth that they take complete advantage of this so called power that they have, ufffff!! Today was the limit, they are having their nawabi khana in the cafeteria and they order a sandwich from the vendor who promptly gives it to them as he serves any other of us lesser employees... the leader of this pack of wolves asks him the cost of this sandwich, 20 rupees he is informed, this man tells him that he will get only 5 rupees for this, obviously the vendor guy is a little taken aback and demands to know why?? Then mr leader of rotting fungi asks him to come on his side , opens the sandwich and demands to know why has he not put more white sauce (read mayonisse!) adn then he tells him " main tujhe batata hoon 20 rupiyee kaise miltey hain , takes out a 10 rupee note from his pocket, tears it and then says le isse lele!!!! And amazingly this guy is an ex army officer, like what to they do there now?? instead of making you a gentleman they make you an animal!!
More than anything else, i want to meet this man's wife and ask her ...why why woman why haven't you poisoned him yet??

New Interest!!

Hee hee heee..... ok so most people would know that I go to my old office on Saturdays, am still doing some stuff there and in any case it is a 2 minute walk from where i live, I have an off on saturdays and both my flat mates work there, so that is reason enough anyways. Arrey but now there is another reason...heeheehee. There is this really cute intern in my previous office, ok so first let me tell you, our office attracts law students and professionals from all across the globe because of the different work that takes place here in relation to human rights so there is always a variety of people in our office.
Anyways coming back to the case in hand...... (I wish!!). The best part is that all three of us have decided to compete so that just makes this even more fun. Anyways, dont think i stand much chance since i will get to see him once a week...hai.....

DOnt know

Dont know what is wrong with me!! I just dont feel like doing anything now a days and I have soooo much on my plate, but still, something has gone off to sleep or died in me and nothing seems to be moving, need to get to the source of this!

Empowerment and all that jazz!!

There is a family which lives right below us on the 3rd floor, had heard about the domestic violence and wife beating that goes on even before I had shifted in. An ex collegue used to live in the house we are in and she had also tried to intervene, counselled the wife, took her to the police station, but the woman finally said that she does not wish to pursue a complaint against 'her man'.
It has happened once or twice before that there has been crazy screaming and shouting coming from the floor below and I have just stood there feeling totally helpless!! Last night it happened again, this time I could'nt take it, I had to do something.. so after a lot of this and that, we decided to call the police. It was amzing as in this situation, there are so many things you think of, like we are three girls, we live alone and all that jazz, but finally I thought what the hell, i am going to do something to get this man to stop. Finally a policewalla turned up and after a lot of head scratching and some directions from us hanging from our terrace parapit, he finally managed to come upto the right house and ring the bell. We all opened our door and stood in the stairway to hear whats going on. All that I got was that the husband kept saying that it is my house and my wife and if we both deicde to fight and beat each other up why should anyone else have a problem?
To this all that the policewalla said was just don't make too much noise, if we get another complaint about the noise we will take action......??????? I was so tempted to go and inform the man that no he cannot beat up another human being just like that, she is not his property, it is against the law and all that, but then i heard the woman speak and she said that I am happy with this man, no we never fight and he has always been by my side!! I just didnt know what to do. Its not like its the first time I have seen the woman turn around like this.. it has happened before with clients on whose cases you would've worked like hell...but it was like a defeat in some sense, then there was this whole aspect of she choosing to live like that, but then really..who in their right mind would given a choice choose this, and thats where the point lies, given a choice, is there really a choice? Or maybe for her this is all life means, this is what she had been taught, adjust, stay putt, there is no other way, she does'nt know that another life is possible because she has given up any hope of there being anything else, this is it, this is her life, it just brings me back to feeling completely helpless, what is to be done, leave it or fight it?

Reading Shantaram!

Am reading Shantaram and found these lines so true!!

"Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat, you throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out: your friends, everyone you used to know and its still not enough. The life boat is still sinking and you know its going to take you down with it. I think thats why I am sick of love"

just like that

Coffe lovers unite!!

So this one is just random! Yesterday a senior said that not everyone can get coffe right and no one can get tea wrong.....!!!!! I magine, the arrogance these coffe drinkers have and ofcourse you got it right this is a South Indian Tambram we are talking about, who else!!!

New Beginings

Hi, today Im writing this blog from home!!! Finally have an internet connection at home...yipeee!!! But at the moment my laptop has gone to the doctor because of some insesnsitive viruses having attacked it, and typically like me, my laptop had also lowered down its defences so there was'nt a mandatory anti virus check happening on everything and here we landed in a soup!! It for me is a sign and it could'nt have gotten bigger than this and it also is the setting of a new begining in my life. Call me silly if you want but thats how i am, i believe in signs and gut feelings a lot and i just know that now finally is the time to gear up and move on, no point in attachements just beause some things are familiar and new beginings mean unknown territory! Hmm I am already feeling good about this, i know it will be difficult and there will be times when i will be vulnerable and would want to turn around, but will deal with that when I come to it, maybe it will, maybe it won't. Good, I am also very glad to know that there are non negotiables in my life and now i know what they are! I may not be making any sense to a lot of you, because i have been very contrary to what i used to be for quite some time, but its ok, just take comfort in the fact that I am back and I am good! I also want to say that this time also taught me a lot and also that i dont hold anything against anyone, there are differences and i respect and appreciate them and thats why i think it best to let go now before it becomes unbearable or too disgusting. this time has been important for me, you are important for me, just want you to know that.

Smiles all The while

Ok so yesterday I was this grumpy, whinning, irritated soul who was finding faults in the world in general and obviously therefore the world appeared like a losing battle, hostile and all against me and therefore the post where I am conphused..... but today, I woke up with a view of conquering this world, just got reminded of Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail where she is practicing how she is going to fight with Tom Hanks who is opening up a huge bookstore and she is actually practicing punching in the air and saying to herself fight it fight it!!! Well anyways, the point is that with this attitude this morning I went and had a chut putt conversation with my boss and lo and behold I ahve loads of work in my hands!!! Not that suddenly cases have sprung up or trainings have been given a green signal, but I have been asked to align with the team that looks at policies and give legal inputs on them... good job done!!!yippeee and I realise that it is actually who I was being about this whole situation.. I know, will write in detail about my experinces in Landmark Education from where I get the ability to look at life from this angle.
So because I was being negative about this whole situation what I had as a result was negativity, but the moment I became hopeful and in control as opposed to being a victim of the situation and things have turned the way I wanted them to....so it all lies in who are being in that situation, are you being a victim or are you being the queen of your universe:-)

Dont know whether to be happy or to be irritated

For most people who know me and are in cue with the latest developments in my life would know that I am in this new corporate job where my profile is specifically to look at cases of sexual harassment at workplace. Now, till here it is fine, but the problem is that I have to wait for the cases to be reported or complaints to be made, there is complete reluctance for any other activity with regards to this aspect to be carried out for the fear that unnecessarily we will encourage people to file cases. The point remains that the best way to make sure you dont get cases of sexual harassment at your workplace is to talk about sexual harassment, what it is , why it is an issue, and other dimensions of sexual harassment so that it is not a taboo anymore and colleagues can talk about it...but somehow this does not seem to percolate down in the minds of the decesion makers. Anyways what this leaves me is with this endless wait, loads of time, internet connection with a number of sites inaccessable (gmail and the like) and this whole disconnect with the entire office, you know there is crazy activity going on and i am just doing my thing somewhere... I know I have told myself a number of times that this is my time to chill, catch up on reading and writing, apply for courses here and there etc etcetc, but sometimes that does'nt seem good enough...Hmmm am finally going to get an internet connection at home, I guess that will atleast bridge the gap for me in my personal internet communication issues. Lets see.

Black or white

Just have been wondering, do i really look at everything as black and white or do I actually acknowledge the greys?? Why is it that for me either it will work or it will not work, there is no mid way, but then mid way means make it work, does'nt it? I think it has got a lot to do with my profession, u know being a lawyer either u are here or there, u cannot really be in the grey about a case, but the fact remains that most aspects of life are grey..but then how do u strike a balance? i dont even know if I am making any sense!! You know the moment i feel that something is not going to work I begin to negate the aspects that made me believe that it will work, because the thing that according to me is not going to make it work will not change either..I think the difference lies in believing that it will work no matter what and constantly checking it out like a fence sitter...hmmmm thats what it is, it is about what i believe and not basing my belief on what happens...after all I am the queen of my universe!

Random lines from songs

Last night I went to sleep thinking that I will post wordings of songs that I like, ofcourse the morning had something else instore for me Anyways will now try and do that, but I already know there will be a part 2 to this post sometime in the future.

• Tum sangh Janam Janam ke phere, bhool gaye kyun saajan mere, tadpat hoon main sanjh sawere, aaja reyy (Madhumati)
• jab bhi thama hai tera haath toh deekha hai, log kehtey hain ke bas haath ki rekha hai, humne dekha hai do takderon ko judtey hue, aaj kal paon zameen par nahin padtey mere (Ghar)
• kal bhi toh kuch aisa hi hua tha, neend main the tumne jo chua tha, girtey girtey bahun main bachi main, sapney pe paon pad gaya tha, sapnoy main behney do, pyaasi hoon main pyaasi rehney do.. (Ijjazat)
• Patiala peg laga ke, deewani main pagal main challi ho gayi, main taali main taali main taali ho gayi (Ugly aur pagli) (I know I suddenly realised kya love struck idiot type songs yaad hain mereko...but what to do we are like this only!!)
• kabhi maine chaha tumhe cho ke dekhon, kabhi maine chaha tumhe pass lana, magar phir bhi... (gharonda)
• hum tum kitne pass hai, kitne door hai chand sitarey, sach pucho toh mann ko jhootey lagtey hain yeh saare, magar sachey lagtey hain....tataon (Balika Badhu)
• dekhtey hai jis tarah se teri nazrey mujhe main khud ko chupaaon kahan (Jism)
• pyar ki yeh raat hai, ab na jaa, pal do pal ki baat hai ab na jaaa (Phir Dhoom, Euphoria)
• ja ja rey ja rey ja rey, ja naale main jaake tu muh dhoke aa rey...(Padosan)

And we shall return with list... just for the record though, I think this must be happening with a lot of people, but I always have a background score going on in my head, for every situation there is a song going on in my head, you can imagine... in my head how life is a movie..but sadly when I am trying to think of a perfect song for a situation, it just does'nt come to me...hmm some mysteries of life we shall not understand and therefore we shall not try!!

Why??

Why is it that a woman has to undergo a miscarriage to be able to exert control over her own reproductive self? Is this woman not part of "we the people of India..."?? Why should this be the mode of gaining independence? why can't the judicial system for once respect the right to privacy of the citizen who inspite of everything chooses to show faith in the legal system and is then very badly let down by that very system?why does a personal choice have to give way to a national (???) debate with all kinds of people terming something legal as murder? and why can't those same people speak up when there is such a hue and cry for hanging afzal guru.... is that not murder??

Stars shinning bright above you

Last night i lay down on my terrace and watched the stars, did that after a very longtime... I think the last time I actually did that was in second year of graduationg college when there was some crazy metereological activity going on and so the sky was going to be full of stars a group of us had gone all the way to ambernath or something catching the last train and had then trekked a bit and on finding a good spot had all just lied down there till it was early morn and time to return for history lecture at 7.20 in the morng (IMAGINE!!!). At that time it was quite crazy coz the sky was full of stars, we were away from the city lights and pollution, so the stars were a lot more visible and it was such a treat!

Before that my memory of starry nights is when as a child we would come from Mumbai to Meerut for Diwali holidays. Our train would always come at around 9pm at the Meerut Cantt station and then it was bumpy cycle rickshaw ride to home, I being the youngest and actually quite chottu then would be sitting at the backside of the cycle rickshaw and would always be looking at the sky completely fascinated by the sheer number and size of the stars, even now when I close my eyes I have that picture very clearly in my eyes... ofcourse I have my own memories of cycle rickshaws, almost always as a child I had either injured myself while getting off the rickshaw or i had lost whatever footwear I had on my feet because my feet would be dangling and I would be completely lost looking around and therefore I would loose my footwear..totally loved that experience looking at the world going in the opposite direction and trying to take in as much detail as possible..!!

Back to last night, the weather was amazing, we have this chottu bench type on our terrace, I was lying on it facing the sky and saw one shooting star and loads of twinkling diamonds and then the clouds came in..very few at first and then slowly the whole sky was full of cluds and the stars were playing hide and seek with me. Love watching clouds, that is the part that amazes me the most when ever I am in an airplane in the day, as we soar above the clouds and then the cluds that were far away above us are now the ground we are trotting on ooohhh totally love it... espcially when I had been to Srinagar, could see the Himalayan peaks from above the clouds too, fascinating!

College Days

Found this loitering about on the net thought shud put it up:

Ruia College
NAME : Ruia college

FULL NAME : Ramnarain Ruia college, Ramnivas Ruia Junior college

DIFFERENT CROWDS YOU CAN EXPECT TO FIND : Studious, die-hard katta fans and generally a crowd with which you will soon feel at ease.

CHARACTERISTICS OF THE 'IN' CROWD : Bunks regularly, start studing in Jan and still comes out with flying colours.

BEST DISHES IN THE CANTEEN : Ughs!!

BEST PLACES TO HANG AROUND IN COLLEGE : Katta, DP's Sherry's, Chinaman, Mani's(though not in the college, They are almost a part of the Ruia culture)

BEST EATING PLACES IN THE VICINITY: Besides the above mentioned plus Snowpoint,Relax,Udipi(Matunga stn)

MOST HAPPENING SOCIETIES : Natyavalay, Career Guidance Cell(?), Microbiology society, NCC, Film society.

LEAST HAPPENING SOCIETIES : Trekking club, Nature club...

LECTURES YOU CAN BUNK WITHOUT GETTING THE HEAT : Chemistry, F.C, Physics

THE BEST TIME OF THE ACADEMIC YEAR TO BUNK : It should have been the best time to attend lectures.

CRITERIA TO MAKE IT TO THE BLACK LIST : What a dumb question.

MOST FAMOUS PEOPLE IN THE COLLEGE : Prof.I.M.Jayakar, Isha Koppikar(Miss Talent in Miss India '95 now also an actress), Rahul Dharne(model), Parsad Rangnekar(model), Microites(studious,no bunking, heavy weight champs), Sonali Bendre.

THE BEST WAY TO GET PALLY WITH THE SENIORS : Be in the co-ordination committe of the Utsav, Be one of the katta members.

SUBJECTS THE COLLEGE IS PARTICULARLY WELL-KNOWN FOR (ARTS & SCIENCE) : Microbiology Chemistry, Economics

THE COLLEGE CAMPUS CAN BE DESCRIBED AS : Well located in the best parts of Mumbai and having a easy approach to all amenities required by the collegians (restaurants, cardshop, katta...)

ANY OTHER PECULIAR FACTS YOU'S LIKE TO SHARE : Inspite Ruia being a coed college, there are many, many more girls compared to guys!!

Rain Food!!!

Last evening it rained in Delhi like it was Mumbai for a bit, infact it has been raining all night and this morning...its quite crazy. One is never prepared for these kind of rains in Delhi. It is not an everyday phenomena so you dont carry an umbrella, wear clothes that will dry fast, not wear light colours and the like and in any case neither is the city prepared for rain lashing like this sort. Anyways, so my bus from office to home was also delayed and by the time I got off at my stop it had started pouring so there I was like a shrievelled up cat waiting under someone's door step for the rain to stop...hmmmmm, i know if this was a hindi movie things would have turned very differently, but this is my life we are talking about so no such chances!!! Anyways since I was standing there I thought I could met up with tinky and husband on their way back home and actually giver her her share of bhakar wadi. So I met them chatted up a bit shared some bhakarwadi and then they dropped me off at a place from where I could get a cycle rickshaw, anyways since it had stopped raining so I thought I will walk down, but right there at that turning there is this pao bhaji wala who claims to dish out pao bhaji just like you get in mumbai (which btw is all bullshit they can try as much as they want, but they can never even get near the original!!) Anyways, since i'm sitting fried street food land sometimes it is nice to have stuff like this. So I asked for 2 pao bhajis to be packed and one masala pao to be heehee consumed by yours truly. The point is masala pao is suppose to be exactly what it is called, i.e. masal pao, but this character seemd to think that I have ordered butter pao with some some red concoction on it!! Oh how I miss masala pao from DPs (which btw is Durga Parmeshwari, bang opposite Ruia in Matunga, Mumbai from where I graduated). Hmph, the amount of butter this man put would have made karela and tinda also taste great, anyways I just gobbled up what was dished out remembering all the old times in DPs and college and went off home.

Ofcourse if you are looking for great pao bhaji in Mumbai, the best place is not the beach, but this lane called 'khao galli' This literally means a lane of food!!! and it actually is a lane full of street foods of mumbai. (PS I have'nt been there in a bit so I dont know about any recent demolitions, new erections etc so pliss to be xcusing!) Now the pao bhaji that you get here is divine!!! specially there is this red garlic chutney that they give with the bhaji on chopped onions which is totally mind blowing. Apart from pb, you get a vcariety of sandwichs, vada pao, south 8indian snacks. usal and misal pao, dabeeli and fruit juices and shakes!! Yum yum total treat. Oh ofcourse most important, this lane is situated in between VT and Churchgate station, right behind fashion street on one end and behind SNDT Univ on the other end. So if you do go there you must!!!

English and Hindi, more than mere languages

Let me also make this blog a space where the people who have so far stayed protected from corporate world can get an insight into the fundas of this world and what a strange world this is!!
First of all the insistence on use of abbreviations just gets to me EOD, COB, PFA, PDA, the lsit just goes on man! (well for the blissfully ignorant ones: End Of Day, Close of Bussiness, Please Find Attached, Please Download Attachment) phew!!!
Secondly, today I learnt that that most of the stuff that is talked about is pure english, but the actual stuff which mostly doesnt happen is Hindi...... didn't get it na.... i know I was also wondering what on earth is going on, then I was very patiently explained that english means just funda, concept, good packaging, great power point presentations, portals, posters, basically just faff and talk. While on the other hand Hindi is the bottom level, actual, hard core stuff. So in the corporate world you need to be clear about what is being expected of you and what is being given to you english or hindi!!! truly a learning for hard core hindi like me!!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz

Finally tis raining in Delhi and the weather is beautiful, I should have been on my terrace having chai and listening to music and obviously soaking myself in the rain, but I am sitting in this AC office where even the windows are covered with blinds and it is sooooo cold and I want to sleep so zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Airport Security

Was in Nagpur and lost my wallet and as a consequence lost all identification cards i possesed. Did the necessary stuff, went amd lodged a police complaint etc etc etc, but my biggest worry was that how will I reach Delhi, I only have a print out of my e ticket with no I card to go with it..... so I could clearly envisage a lot of pleading and explaining at the Nagpur airport and was a bit nervous about the whole thing as apparently there is a lot of security check at airports being good targets for terrorist attacks. I also had a collegue with me for moral support and to make sure that I do get on to some plane going in the direction of delhi.
Step 1 the entrace of the airport I show my e ticket print out and with confidence stroll into the airport ...phew that was easy now comes the real trouble...step 2 check in: Here I am rehearsing my story and with all the relevant papers in my hand including my boarding pass of the flight that I had taken to reach Nagpur just in case I need it. I hand over my e ticket and am all ready to vomit my story on the executive sitting there, after 2 minutes of silence the executive asks me if I have any check in baggage and if I have any seat preference no and window is the answer she receives and then she smiles at me hands me my boarding pass and wishes me a happy journey...all this while she is addressing me with the name printed on the e ticket, but she has no clue whether I am that person or not and just like that with a print out in hand i got into a flight to Delhi......imagine!
Cut to my return trip from Sangli, Pune airport, I have an e ticket in my hand and my i card, I am let in at the entrance of the airport after the security guard has held my e ticket for more that 15 secs and looked at it... I go to the counter of Jet lite and am waiting for my boarding pass.. the executive is taking some time and is shaking her head, I can't understand what is wrong then she informs me that the print out I have handed to her is for an e ticket of 29th June and not July and that she has checked her records for todays flight and my name is not on her records, some franctic phone calls later I am told that I am booked on the Air India flight for Delhi. I rush to the counter for check in and inform the executive that I am on the flight to delhi and dont have a print out of my ticket so on the basis of my I card if she could check me in she is the only one who raises her eyebrow looks at me suspiciously and asks how did you get into the airport?? I tell her that I had an incorrect print out in my hand and therefore the mix up... again I get my boarding pass and am comfortably seated in the plane for reaching Delhi. BTW this is happenning when the police in the country is going crazy discovering live bombs all over the place and there is a red alert in the country.
Like really I have nothing to say.......... either our security agencies will get all extreme and check people to the barest minimum and then recheck them ( and example is the film Aamir) or just let anyone waltz pass them without even doing the basic minimum required. Its just amazing! If this is our plan and idea of beefed up security I think i am any day safer sitting at home. What say?

Jai Jai Maharashtra Majha!!

I started wrting this yesterday but was so bored that didnt write anything at all. I sometimes think that I should make a diary of all the things I want to write about in my blog because when I do start wrting i phorget!!

SO let me start with my crazy trip to Sangli. I left for Pune on friday night reached there by flight with my crazy roomie who also works in my ex office. She was in high spirits dunno why.. maybe travelling does that to her. Anyways... was travelling in Kingfisher for the frst time so was sitting and judging them, they are ok except I could really do without the video of the owner going on about how he has personally choosen all the staff..!!!!! After reaching Pune we met up with even more crazier collegue and friend in Pune and crazy roomie's crazier younger brother. Started off for a 5 hour drive to Sangli. I was quite apprehensive about bad roads since it is also the monsoon (like real monsoon not just a pretence!!) in that part of the country but I was quite surprised to see that the highway from Pune to Kolhapur was brilliant and ofcourse after every 45 mins we were paying some kind of toll (that just explains it all!!). We reached Sangli and were suppose to look for the house of the District Judge as our hotel was bang opposite it. So at 4 in the morning we were trying to wake innocent people and ask them for the house of the District Judge. For some strange reason our driver would refuse to follow one person's instructions unless he has stopped atleast five time more and asked some more people... anyways we have been told to look for hotel Jyoti by crazy pune friend and when we reach the hotel it is called Lotus residency????? (hope you get an idea of what I mean when I say crazy!!!). We then tried to catch up on some sleep as the meeting was to begin in a couple of hours time. Reached the venue which was bubbling with a number of lawyers and law students, most local, some from kolhapur and satara. Had a great meeting with a number of people showing keen interest in taking this work forward in their city, towns and villages. A success of sorts in that sense. The bigger achivement in my mind was that we were able to get the young people in the audience to start questioning their own beliefs, assumptions and presumptions that they consider the sacred truth especially on issues like death penalty, prostitution, religious minorities, gender and patriarchy and globalisation. All in all the meeting was fabulous, the food was great, authentic Maharashtrian and the weather.......ooooh don't even get me started on that it was heavenly!! It is the kind of weather where you forget about the worries of the world and just get a couple of friends a backpack and go on treks to sometimes explored and sometimes unexplored terrain!!!

I completely ODed on the food especially the use of peanuts in just about everything...OMG I can't even explain what that did to me.........I just know that atleast for me if there is no penis atleast let there be peanuts (only in the food mind you!!) and the effect will be the same! Also did some shopping, bought typical Maharastrian nose ring the one that is slightly longish and also bought typical Mah toe rings, basically am ready to be Mah bride, come on bring out the guys!!! And bought a whole load of bindis, I know you will be wondering kya pagal hai Delhi main Bindi nahin milti kya?? But FYI the bindi makers in Delhi think that you wear a Bindi only on 2 occaaions either it is you shaadi or someonelse's shaadi get my point??? Good now am waiting for occassion to display mines nose ring!!

While coming back stopped at Chitale Bandhu in Pune to buy loads of Bhakarwadi..tinky you interested?? and at German Bakery to buy some yummy cake. Also had pretty much a fiasco at the Airport as I had an incorrect print out of my ticket and was panicking just a bit that I would be considered a threat and jailed or something but was able to rescue self soon. Will write about airport security in a seperate post. Tada till then!!

Well lots of things!!

Ok so I was meaning to write this yesterday, but somehow i didnt. Hmm I have been catching up with an old friend by reading her blog of 5 years ago.. and I realised that I have finished reading around 3 years of blogs written every week and lo and behold, there is not even an iota of dear old ME!!!!!! tauba,!!! even though she has written very passionately about NCC the reason we got to know each other and about her dog, the reason we had gotten close.. just made me sit and think that for a number of people who know me it must be the same feeling, you know that I am important for them but they are not important for me. So its not that I am sulking about not being important for u tinky...... we were actually not in touch and therefore I am reading your blog to get to know you. For me you were always someone I can call and listen to the latest pjs laugh my guts out and get on with life and I think that will definitely not change. Ofcourse now we being in the same city and me being a lot more free makes it easier for me to keep in touch. Teehee, i dont even know why I am rambling like this, but what the hell, aur kiss liye blog likh rahi hoon??

Also I saw Jaane tu ya Jaane na again!! heehee I know how silly, but tis okay, i like movie, i watch again. And please, someone tell the couple who were seated beinhd my behind that Sushant in Jaane tu is not the same guy who was Anshuman in Jab we met, kya hai are u blind???

Me travelling again this weekend going to maratha land and back, will write about that after I am back!! Hmmm I have been thinking about writing about serious topics but haven't yet got around to doing that, dekhtey hain.

I am back back back!!!!

Hmmm as I said before, don't really know where is home..but anyways am back to the place i call home in the Delhi!!! Although came to office directly from train station (i know stinky poo, but what to do, they don't give chutti, so we come to office dirty!! (OMG poetry just happened..yipee!)). Hmm did loads of things, ate vada pao (tinky u readin??), ate sabudana kichdi, played and played with bholaprasad nephew, made fun of sis with Bro in law, discussed investment plans, cooly avoided topic of current love interest, if any, did some itsy bitsy shopping and then was back in train. Also finished readg Hobbit, five point someone and some more parts of maximum city. Chatted with chaddi dost a bit and then came back!! Aur kya will write about 5.someone soon..promise!!

Going Home Going Home tra la la la la

Hellos peoples... heeheehee in about 5 hours time I will be on train to home.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although i know its only for around 30 hours and then I will be back on a train to this home, but so what?? Working in a crazy place before has made me realise the importance of atleast getting home for a day or so and then getting back. Ofcourse Suchi can't seem to understand how I do it, but I guess its ok for me. Better than going home only once a year. Which also brings me to another point... which one is home, that place where i spent 20 years of my life or this place where i started living on my own and discovered myself?? It can be so strange... I am going from home to home. I think i already know what women who get married and leave home feel.
Anywhichways... am glad to do this 2 day thing so that i can catch glimpses of my nephew growing up, chat up with my sister, pull her leg with my darling BIL and make me sweetheart mom feel guilty for not taking chutti on saturday..(teehee evil laughter!!)
Bye bye will see you in a few!!

Why women's rights?

Ok so I was in Nagpur this weekend, I am still doing trainings and travel with my previous organisation whenever I can. We had a meeting on Human Rights issues with students of the Law college in Nagpur. I was to speak on women's rights. Due to some change in the agenda, I had to follow the session by Ram Punyani on Communalism and boy was I worried, because this session was a roaring one, very interactive, humourous and amazingly insightful!!! Anyways most of what I am about to pen down is what I had spoken.

Somewhere last decemeber we had a meeting of the women's rights lawyers in the country where we wanted to do a reality check on where we were and the way ahead. So obviously we also did discuss a lot of perspective issues. One of the main and key questions was are we human rights lawyers or women's rights lawyers. In my head I was quite clear, boss I am a women's rights lawyer, no two wasy about that and in any case that makes me a human rights lawyer (you know, women=human get the picture??)

Anyways so when we say that we are women's rights actvists, we dont mean we are against men, no what we are standing up against is gender burdens that both have to face, the patriarchial set up and the exploitation of the vulnerable by the powerful...thats all. And if in this context, if it has been the men who have been in power for so long and exploited women so be it... then there is the argument of women being the biggest enemey of women, but what we conviniently loose sight of is that it is the powerful woman oppressing the powerless woman and that situation can be between any two set of people. The way our histroical set up has been, it is women, dalits, disabled, sexual minoroties who get exploited as they are in most cases powerless in comparision to the men, upper castes etc.

I have come to realise that the best way to start of a discourse on women's rights is to assure the audience that this is not a male hating, man bashing session but just an attempt for us to go beyond our assumptions and actually start questioning them. Scratch the surface and see, really is this reality or is it only the perception!!! And then we will get our answers and we can actually look beyond the assumed obvious and live a life free of shackles.

Monkey Maddness!!

Ho hum.... tuesday morning...was able to make it to office on Monday, although not in time as usual so in that sense this week started a little differently... actually very differently first of all I was in Nagpur for a human rights meeting and I lost my wallet!!! Boohoooo it had all the things that you can think a wallet can contain and even more! So anyways I came back and spent some part of my monday morning in damage control and then went to office came back and cooked dinner and happily went to sleep.. Of course, I am reading the Hobbit and strangely whatever i read I dream of so it becomes thoda difficult for me to differentiate between reality and dream world. Now that I think of it, I think it is the same for a lot of my life!!! (Anubha concentrate, that's not what you started this for remember... monkey??!!)

Haan so anyways, I get up this morning to a smiling help and a great morning and I decide to make some lovely breakfast (I have been craving for hot toast filled with aloo masala for ever now.... the amount of cravings I am having I will have to stop blaming PMS for it!!) So i made some of that and with a plate full of sandwiches was just getting out of my kitchen. Before I move further let me tell you a little bit about my house. So it is on the 4th floor and is on the terrace and we have three different doors all in a straight line, one leading to one room, the other to the kitchen and the third to a set of two rooms. I get out of the kitchen adn just in time I see a monkey sitting on the ledge of the wall next to my room.....panic panic i lock myself in the kitchen and start calling out to suchi whose room is with mine and I tell her not to open the door as there is a monkey sitting there (pause: now suchi is someone who gets startled even if you walk past her into your own room at any point of time, sometimes i think she is going to have a heart attack if i walk past too often!!!) so anyways she starts banging the door to make the monkey go away. I muster some courage and open the kitchen door adn get out to see where is the monkey... well the monkey is happily sitting in the passage on the rack where we keep our prized ceramic bowls and glasses etc. I run back into the kitchen and suchi continues to bang the door.. obviously, this is not getting anywhere so i run into the other room and wake our third counter part who quite sleepily gets up and goes out of the room and picks up a broom lying on the terrace to scare the monkey, by now we discover there are two monkeys!!!! As soon as she threatens the monkey with a broom he/she jumps towards us.... we both (with her wide awake now!!!) scamper back into the room and wait.....tick tock tick tock.... in the meanwhile we use technology and call suchi on her mobile to find out the status (she btw is still banging the door!!). She informs us that from her window she cannot see the monkeys but she is sure they are in my room as she can hear noises there. I decide that I have to go and see what havock are these monkeys creating in my room (ofcourse this is only to get updated, coz I am very clear that I can't do jackshit about this!!) as soon as I open the door I see one monkey running away with a boiled potato in his hand, (whcih was in my fridge yikes!!) adn the other one has a packet of pistachios again plundered from my fridge in his hand, i wait and wait and then go out looking in all directions possible at the same time and then enter my room tiptoed... oh hell!! my entire room is filled with scattered boiled potatoes which i had saved for a rainy day (like this one!!)

Anyways i reach office and everyone is of the opinion that this is the wrath of lord hanuman.. as you see the logic is quite simple i lost my wallet on a saturday, which is hanuman's day and today is tuesday which (again) is hanuman's day and i get attacked by monkeys!! (hanuman in case you haven't noticed is a monkey god!) Clearly I see the begining of a new superstition!! and here i thought since in the hindu religion there are 300 crore gods and goddess each one will have a day to itself maybe once in my lifetime!! Anyways will visit some temple near home and say hello to lord monkey!!

Kathak kidhar??

With the new found 'free' time, I am out to conquer all that i always wanted to do but didnt have the time or the money for it. Well all that good intention saw the first victory in salsa classes..... so then the next step that we had decided was kathak. I have been dying to learn kathak ever since i can think. Of course my shcool in mumbai only offered Bharatnatyam so I promptly learnt BHarat natyam, but as soon as I had finished learning the steps, my teacher had a row with the school authorities so that ended right there. Then we had this new teacher who was one stylish babe and I was'nt particularly fond of her but anyways I started again with the steps and as soon as I had finished the steps again this teacher left my school. Ofcourse this time I atleast reached the first compilation Alaripu, but that ended there. After this my dancing was limited to some filmi stuff on stage and in gatherings of relatives!!!

So now my quest to learn Kathak began. I did some net searching and found a list of addresses and phone numbers of institutes taht offer Kathak. So yesterday I promptly started calling up those numbers. To my horror I was informed by the most reputed institutes that the forms had been filled in in June and the selection process was over!!! Oh hell why was I sleeping all this while???? Then most of the others asked my how old was my child for whom I was enquiring about the class!!!! Hey Bhagwan!! Anyways, I shall not be discouraged by these narrow minded people, so waht if I am 28 years old and it is too late, don't you remember, better late than never!!!!

You and I

Picked up something from a very interesting blog, really liked it a lot and therefore..... heehee!! It speaks volumes of where I am in life right now.....

You...Sometimes I wish to be near you all the time
Just be there, so that you wouldn't know,
But I would stand there in the shadows & watch you live.

Draw the shades in the morning,
when the sunshine on your face troubles you,
the only time when you can still dream without fear, or apology.
Or the weight of responsibility that you carry so well, without a whimper.
Or the way that you look when you concentrate too hard on something,
almost like you would burst out in laughter,
if someone only broke the ice, but you don't.

You just look through people & things,
as if they do not even exist,
all the while as you draw them in, as inspiration.

And I...Curious as I am,
for everything unknown though afraid of the same things at the same time.
When I am tangled you let me loose,
and then let me come back as if nothing ever happened at all.
Makes me wonder sometimes if there is really a great unexplained plan for us all,
something that once has happened, could never again be.

And yet I know that I will break away & break everything that comes in my way,
but I will want back in, you will let me & I'll wonder whether to stay.
But with you I don't need to stay, or leave all I need to do is live.

And let go.

Mood swings!!

Well I have been meaning to write for quite some time now...but there were/are so many things going on in my life that I would like to talk about, but this is surely not the best place for that (sadly). In any case I have learnt the hard way to not always share everything as it is a possiblity that details may get quoted out of context resulting in havoc in life in general. Also I can't really make up my mind about whether I am better now or was I better last week.... well actually there was something that I wanted to do last week, but this time I had resolved that I won't succumb to my emotions and will be practical etc etc, but unfortunately, that was causing me a lot of grief... and frankly I am the kind who will do waht she wants, when she wants and as soon as she has the desire to do it so a week long wait was kiling me. But today I did do it, but i don't have the desired effect. So I actually dont know whether that was better or this is better!!!! Confused??? its ok so am I

Pride and Prejudice

I just finished re reading an online version of pride and prejudice, by Jane Austen. As an adolescent, I was in love with this book, i thought it was so romantic, so perfect and all of that. But after having re read it, I realised, I should have let that impression of the book remain. In an attempt to refresh the romance of the book I have come face to face with the chauvinistic thread running from chapter to chapter. How the biggest pre occupation of the mother right since her first daughter turned sixteen was to have her daughters married to eligible bachelors, the kind of social boycott the family is threatened with when Lydia elopes with Wickham. The kind of criticizm Elizabeth faces for being able to speak her mind!!! There seems to be no romance left in this book and I only resolved to finish it with the hope of finding some element of it in the end atleast when Lizzy and Mr. Darcy reveal their true feelings for each other. Uff.... I think I was happier imagining that this was the best book I had read and always wanted to go back to it when I felt like. Of course now no more!!! So much for the background on women's rights!!

Salsa in a feminist world!

I have started learning salsa recently, have been in for 5 classes now. One of my colleague kept saying that this is a very scientific dance but i could'nt really figure out why she said that until the last class. Till now we were mostly learning the basic steps and were practising them on our own in class, but now we have started doing partner work and that's where the whole issue lies. It is the guy who leads in salsa and the woman has to only follow his cues. Now I seem to have a problem with this as I like to think for myself and may not really like to follow my partner all the time in the dance. I mean I may not want to do a right turn when he is leading me to do one, so then what happens? So i realsi in this class there are again a lot of things that I am going to unlearn and relearn....uffff.

The other aspect that I realised was that if the guy can only give cues which the woman has to follow then the tuning between the two partners has to be perfect, thats where the scientific bit comes in. It is about understanding each other really well and it is also about the guy knowing exactly what the girl wants. There are also aspects like you don't give your hand to the guy till he asks for it...so it is about the guy getting what he is asking for, but it is aslo about the girl giving only the things asked for not more not less. Not much of an option here isn't it!

Anywhich ways, its is thoroughly an enjoyable dance and it is also attempting to bring out the feminine, seductive side in me!!

Harry Potter and the world in general

Well, since this new job gives me a lot more time in my hands, not only after office but also in office, I decided that I should catch up on a lot of reading that had been pending for quite some time. My colleague introduced me to e versions of Harry Potter. All these years I kept wondering what the hell is the big deal??? why is everyone going crazy about HP? but then i discovered..... now in a months time I have finished reading 7 HP and am left feeling a void, now what??? There is constantly this feeling in my head somewhere that I will soon discover my own magical abilities and join the HP league of wizards and witches (ofcourse a lot of people who know me would think that I already am a witch, especially my mom who would lovingly call me and my sis 'chudail' when we were young). But i must say here that HP series have changed the way I look at the magical world, the whole image that was in my head about this world was of ghosts and witches who loved scaring the shit out of you, thats what has always been shown in the movies, there are very few which actually showed magic in good light and then the ramsay brothers did not leave any stone unturned to confirm my fears with the magical world. Ofcourse there were few things which did want me to have some magic in mylife like Shazaam, which was a cartoon that would be aired on DD2 during summer holidays in Mumbai.

I had thought that HP would be very childish and I may not enjoy it that much, but I was in for a complete surprise when I had read around 20 pages of the first HP, coz there was no turning back I had gotten completely sucked into the world of Harry Potter and all that happened around him. The seventh one is over now and I wish I could have a wand and a broomstick to use... Bye bye harry, hope to see you again.

Life and Death

Its funny how people you just assume will be there and therefore you have taken them for granted and don't really keep in touch, suddenly, like an act of very insensitive attention seeking behaviour just vanish in thin air and leave you to keep thinking of all the times you could have been in touch, did you actually wish that person happy birthday the last time you could, of course you didn't know then that it would be the last time. One such incident happened recently with a friend and it just made me sit up and think of all the people I have not bothered to keep in touch with!! Friends, relatives, ex room mates, college mates, everyone. I just shudder to think what will I do if someone so close does the vanishing act on me again (When my father passed away I was to young to realise the impact and when I did realise I was old enough to deal with it.) Somehow for a very long time I would keep prepapring myself for people in my life who would just leave and go, like my mom and my sis, my very close friends, my boyfriends, it was crazy I would imagine how it would be and I would also actually cry at the shock of it all. Then I realised that I can never be prepared for something like this and as and when this will happen, I will be impacted and I will have to deal with all that I have to deal with then, so there is no point. Infact in keeping myself ready for this I would not let myself get too close to people, I guess this was the imapct of my father's early death. Atleast now I haven't managed to kill everyone in my head and seriously, I feel a lot more free now, coz if someone has to go then that someone has to go and I don't think I can ever be prepared enough. It is better this way as then I live for today and worry about tommorrow only when it becomes today

Padhna Likhna Seekho!!

Well so finally I have figured out how to access Suchis blog and after having read her entire blog, I am soooo inspired to write one myself, Thanks Suchi, only now I have to figure out how to get everyone to read it!!!!

I am a lawyer by qualification and had been practising till very recentlly. I was working in this organisation called Human Rights Law Network, HRLN as the coordinator for the Women's Justice Initiative. I was not only taking up cases of women in court but also getting involved in advocacy issues. But as is always the case, the money was too little!! It was just my luck that a huge IT company was looking for a legal expert on the issue of sexual harassment at workplace and they came across me..... and after a lot of thought I took up this job, so thats how I am making good money being a feminist. Infact in jsut about 45 minutes, I am going to take my first sensitisation session in this new office on SHWP. I am quite excited and a little nervous, don't really know how this will go.

Welcome to my Blog

Hello out there!!! Thank you for visiting my blog. Hmmm.... this is an attempt for a gemini to actually start penning down what she feels. I guess its a good way to actually put together what one has learned or unlearned in life...... and to then relearn those things!!! So i am going to soon have internet at home and then i think i will be a regular at this. Thank you for accompanying me on this journey