New Beginings

Hi, today Im writing this blog from home!!! Finally have an internet connection at home...yipeee!!! But at the moment my laptop has gone to the doctor because of some insesnsitive viruses having attacked it, and typically like me, my laptop had also lowered down its defences so there was'nt a mandatory anti virus check happening on everything and here we landed in a soup!! It for me is a sign and it could'nt have gotten bigger than this and it also is the setting of a new begining in my life. Call me silly if you want but thats how i am, i believe in signs and gut feelings a lot and i just know that now finally is the time to gear up and move on, no point in attachements just beause some things are familiar and new beginings mean unknown territory! Hmm I am already feeling good about this, i know it will be difficult and there will be times when i will be vulnerable and would want to turn around, but will deal with that when I come to it, maybe it will, maybe it won't. Good, I am also very glad to know that there are non negotiables in my life and now i know what they are! I may not be making any sense to a lot of you, because i have been very contrary to what i used to be for quite some time, but its ok, just take comfort in the fact that I am back and I am good! I also want to say that this time also taught me a lot and also that i dont hold anything against anyone, there are differences and i respect and appreciate them and thats why i think it best to let go now before it becomes unbearable or too disgusting. this time has been important for me, you are important for me, just want you to know that.

Smiles all The while

Ok so yesterday I was this grumpy, whinning, irritated soul who was finding faults in the world in general and obviously therefore the world appeared like a losing battle, hostile and all against me and therefore the post where I am conphused..... but today, I woke up with a view of conquering this world, just got reminded of Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail where she is practicing how she is going to fight with Tom Hanks who is opening up a huge bookstore and she is actually practicing punching in the air and saying to herself fight it fight it!!! Well anyways, the point is that with this attitude this morning I went and had a chut putt conversation with my boss and lo and behold I ahve loads of work in my hands!!! Not that suddenly cases have sprung up or trainings have been given a green signal, but I have been asked to align with the team that looks at policies and give legal inputs on them... good job done!!!yippeee and I realise that it is actually who I was being about this whole situation.. I know, will write in detail about my experinces in Landmark Education from where I get the ability to look at life from this angle.
So because I was being negative about this whole situation what I had as a result was negativity, but the moment I became hopeful and in control as opposed to being a victim of the situation and things have turned the way I wanted them to....so it all lies in who are being in that situation, are you being a victim or are you being the queen of your universe:-)

Dont know whether to be happy or to be irritated

For most people who know me and are in cue with the latest developments in my life would know that I am in this new corporate job where my profile is specifically to look at cases of sexual harassment at workplace. Now, till here it is fine, but the problem is that I have to wait for the cases to be reported or complaints to be made, there is complete reluctance for any other activity with regards to this aspect to be carried out for the fear that unnecessarily we will encourage people to file cases. The point remains that the best way to make sure you dont get cases of sexual harassment at your workplace is to talk about sexual harassment, what it is , why it is an issue, and other dimensions of sexual harassment so that it is not a taboo anymore and colleagues can talk about it...but somehow this does not seem to percolate down in the minds of the decesion makers. Anyways what this leaves me is with this endless wait, loads of time, internet connection with a number of sites inaccessable (gmail and the like) and this whole disconnect with the entire office, you know there is crazy activity going on and i am just doing my thing somewhere... I know I have told myself a number of times that this is my time to chill, catch up on reading and writing, apply for courses here and there etc etcetc, but sometimes that does'nt seem good enough...Hmmm am finally going to get an internet connection at home, I guess that will atleast bridge the gap for me in my personal internet communication issues. Lets see.

Black or white

Just have been wondering, do i really look at everything as black and white or do I actually acknowledge the greys?? Why is it that for me either it will work or it will not work, there is no mid way, but then mid way means make it work, does'nt it? I think it has got a lot to do with my profession, u know being a lawyer either u are here or there, u cannot really be in the grey about a case, but the fact remains that most aspects of life are grey..but then how do u strike a balance? i dont even know if I am making any sense!! You know the moment i feel that something is not going to work I begin to negate the aspects that made me believe that it will work, because the thing that according to me is not going to make it work will not change either..I think the difference lies in believing that it will work no matter what and constantly checking it out like a fence sitter...hmmmm thats what it is, it is about what i believe and not basing my belief on what happens...after all I am the queen of my universe!

Random lines from songs

Last night I went to sleep thinking that I will post wordings of songs that I like, ofcourse the morning had something else instore for me Anyways will now try and do that, but I already know there will be a part 2 to this post sometime in the future.

• Tum sangh Janam Janam ke phere, bhool gaye kyun saajan mere, tadpat hoon main sanjh sawere, aaja reyy (Madhumati)
• jab bhi thama hai tera haath toh deekha hai, log kehtey hain ke bas haath ki rekha hai, humne dekha hai do takderon ko judtey hue, aaj kal paon zameen par nahin padtey mere (Ghar)
• kal bhi toh kuch aisa hi hua tha, neend main the tumne jo chua tha, girtey girtey bahun main bachi main, sapney pe paon pad gaya tha, sapnoy main behney do, pyaasi hoon main pyaasi rehney do.. (Ijjazat)
• Patiala peg laga ke, deewani main pagal main challi ho gayi, main taali main taali main taali ho gayi (Ugly aur pagli) (I know I suddenly realised kya love struck idiot type songs yaad hain mereko...but what to do we are like this only!!)
• kabhi maine chaha tumhe cho ke dekhon, kabhi maine chaha tumhe pass lana, magar phir bhi... (gharonda)
• hum tum kitne pass hai, kitne door hai chand sitarey, sach pucho toh mann ko jhootey lagtey hain yeh saare, magar sachey lagtey hain....tataon (Balika Badhu)
• dekhtey hai jis tarah se teri nazrey mujhe main khud ko chupaaon kahan (Jism)
• pyar ki yeh raat hai, ab na jaa, pal do pal ki baat hai ab na jaaa (Phir Dhoom, Euphoria)
• ja ja rey ja rey ja rey, ja naale main jaake tu muh dhoke aa rey...(Padosan)

And we shall return with list... just for the record though, I think this must be happening with a lot of people, but I always have a background score going on in my head, for every situation there is a song going on in my head, you can imagine... in my head how life is a movie..but sadly when I am trying to think of a perfect song for a situation, it just does'nt come to me...hmm some mysteries of life we shall not understand and therefore we shall not try!!

Why??

Why is it that a woman has to undergo a miscarriage to be able to exert control over her own reproductive self? Is this woman not part of "we the people of India..."?? Why should this be the mode of gaining independence? why can't the judicial system for once respect the right to privacy of the citizen who inspite of everything chooses to show faith in the legal system and is then very badly let down by that very system?why does a personal choice have to give way to a national (???) debate with all kinds of people terming something legal as murder? and why can't those same people speak up when there is such a hue and cry for hanging afzal guru.... is that not murder??

Stars shinning bright above you

Last night i lay down on my terrace and watched the stars, did that after a very longtime... I think the last time I actually did that was in second year of graduationg college when there was some crazy metereological activity going on and so the sky was going to be full of stars a group of us had gone all the way to ambernath or something catching the last train and had then trekked a bit and on finding a good spot had all just lied down there till it was early morn and time to return for history lecture at 7.20 in the morng (IMAGINE!!!). At that time it was quite crazy coz the sky was full of stars, we were away from the city lights and pollution, so the stars were a lot more visible and it was such a treat!

Before that my memory of starry nights is when as a child we would come from Mumbai to Meerut for Diwali holidays. Our train would always come at around 9pm at the Meerut Cantt station and then it was bumpy cycle rickshaw ride to home, I being the youngest and actually quite chottu then would be sitting at the backside of the cycle rickshaw and would always be looking at the sky completely fascinated by the sheer number and size of the stars, even now when I close my eyes I have that picture very clearly in my eyes... ofcourse I have my own memories of cycle rickshaws, almost always as a child I had either injured myself while getting off the rickshaw or i had lost whatever footwear I had on my feet because my feet would be dangling and I would be completely lost looking around and therefore I would loose my footwear..totally loved that experience looking at the world going in the opposite direction and trying to take in as much detail as possible..!!

Back to last night, the weather was amazing, we have this chottu bench type on our terrace, I was lying on it facing the sky and saw one shooting star and loads of twinkling diamonds and then the clouds came in..very few at first and then slowly the whole sky was full of cluds and the stars were playing hide and seek with me. Love watching clouds, that is the part that amazes me the most when ever I am in an airplane in the day, as we soar above the clouds and then the cluds that were far away above us are now the ground we are trotting on ooohhh totally love it... espcially when I had been to Srinagar, could see the Himalayan peaks from above the clouds too, fascinating!

College Days

Found this loitering about on the net thought shud put it up:

Ruia College
NAME : Ruia college

FULL NAME : Ramnarain Ruia college, Ramnivas Ruia Junior college

DIFFERENT CROWDS YOU CAN EXPECT TO FIND : Studious, die-hard katta fans and generally a crowd with which you will soon feel at ease.

CHARACTERISTICS OF THE 'IN' CROWD : Bunks regularly, start studing in Jan and still comes out with flying colours.

BEST DISHES IN THE CANTEEN : Ughs!!

BEST PLACES TO HANG AROUND IN COLLEGE : Katta, DP's Sherry's, Chinaman, Mani's(though not in the college, They are almost a part of the Ruia culture)

BEST EATING PLACES IN THE VICINITY: Besides the above mentioned plus Snowpoint,Relax,Udipi(Matunga stn)

MOST HAPPENING SOCIETIES : Natyavalay, Career Guidance Cell(?), Microbiology society, NCC, Film society.

LEAST HAPPENING SOCIETIES : Trekking club, Nature club...

LECTURES YOU CAN BUNK WITHOUT GETTING THE HEAT : Chemistry, F.C, Physics

THE BEST TIME OF THE ACADEMIC YEAR TO BUNK : It should have been the best time to attend lectures.

CRITERIA TO MAKE IT TO THE BLACK LIST : What a dumb question.

MOST FAMOUS PEOPLE IN THE COLLEGE : Prof.I.M.Jayakar, Isha Koppikar(Miss Talent in Miss India '95 now also an actress), Rahul Dharne(model), Parsad Rangnekar(model), Microites(studious,no bunking, heavy weight champs), Sonali Bendre.

THE BEST WAY TO GET PALLY WITH THE SENIORS : Be in the co-ordination committe of the Utsav, Be one of the katta members.

SUBJECTS THE COLLEGE IS PARTICULARLY WELL-KNOWN FOR (ARTS & SCIENCE) : Microbiology Chemistry, Economics

THE COLLEGE CAMPUS CAN BE DESCRIBED AS : Well located in the best parts of Mumbai and having a easy approach to all amenities required by the collegians (restaurants, cardshop, katta...)

ANY OTHER PECULIAR FACTS YOU'S LIKE TO SHARE : Inspite Ruia being a coed college, there are many, many more girls compared to guys!!

Rain Food!!!

Last evening it rained in Delhi like it was Mumbai for a bit, infact it has been raining all night and this morning...its quite crazy. One is never prepared for these kind of rains in Delhi. It is not an everyday phenomena so you dont carry an umbrella, wear clothes that will dry fast, not wear light colours and the like and in any case neither is the city prepared for rain lashing like this sort. Anyways, so my bus from office to home was also delayed and by the time I got off at my stop it had started pouring so there I was like a shrievelled up cat waiting under someone's door step for the rain to stop...hmmmmm, i know if this was a hindi movie things would have turned very differently, but this is my life we are talking about so no such chances!!! Anyways since I was standing there I thought I could met up with tinky and husband on their way back home and actually giver her her share of bhakar wadi. So I met them chatted up a bit shared some bhakarwadi and then they dropped me off at a place from where I could get a cycle rickshaw, anyways since it had stopped raining so I thought I will walk down, but right there at that turning there is this pao bhaji wala who claims to dish out pao bhaji just like you get in mumbai (which btw is all bullshit they can try as much as they want, but they can never even get near the original!!) Anyways, since i'm sitting fried street food land sometimes it is nice to have stuff like this. So I asked for 2 pao bhajis to be packed and one masala pao to be heehee consumed by yours truly. The point is masala pao is suppose to be exactly what it is called, i.e. masal pao, but this character seemd to think that I have ordered butter pao with some some red concoction on it!! Oh how I miss masala pao from DPs (which btw is Durga Parmeshwari, bang opposite Ruia in Matunga, Mumbai from where I graduated). Hmph, the amount of butter this man put would have made karela and tinda also taste great, anyways I just gobbled up what was dished out remembering all the old times in DPs and college and went off home.

Ofcourse if you are looking for great pao bhaji in Mumbai, the best place is not the beach, but this lane called 'khao galli' This literally means a lane of food!!! and it actually is a lane full of street foods of mumbai. (PS I have'nt been there in a bit so I dont know about any recent demolitions, new erections etc so pliss to be xcusing!) Now the pao bhaji that you get here is divine!!! specially there is this red garlic chutney that they give with the bhaji on chopped onions which is totally mind blowing. Apart from pb, you get a vcariety of sandwichs, vada pao, south 8indian snacks. usal and misal pao, dabeeli and fruit juices and shakes!! Yum yum total treat. Oh ofcourse most important, this lane is situated in between VT and Churchgate station, right behind fashion street on one end and behind SNDT Univ on the other end. So if you do go there you must!!!