Mood swings!!

Well I have been meaning to write for quite some time now...but there were/are so many things going on in my life that I would like to talk about, but this is surely not the best place for that (sadly). In any case I have learnt the hard way to not always share everything as it is a possiblity that details may get quoted out of context resulting in havoc in life in general. Also I can't really make up my mind about whether I am better now or was I better last week.... well actually there was something that I wanted to do last week, but this time I had resolved that I won't succumb to my emotions and will be practical etc etc, but unfortunately, that was causing me a lot of grief... and frankly I am the kind who will do waht she wants, when she wants and as soon as she has the desire to do it so a week long wait was kiling me. But today I did do it, but i don't have the desired effect. So I actually dont know whether that was better or this is better!!!! Confused??? its ok so am I

Pride and Prejudice

I just finished re reading an online version of pride and prejudice, by Jane Austen. As an adolescent, I was in love with this book, i thought it was so romantic, so perfect and all of that. But after having re read it, I realised, I should have let that impression of the book remain. In an attempt to refresh the romance of the book I have come face to face with the chauvinistic thread running from chapter to chapter. How the biggest pre occupation of the mother right since her first daughter turned sixteen was to have her daughters married to eligible bachelors, the kind of social boycott the family is threatened with when Lydia elopes with Wickham. The kind of criticizm Elizabeth faces for being able to speak her mind!!! There seems to be no romance left in this book and I only resolved to finish it with the hope of finding some element of it in the end atleast when Lizzy and Mr. Darcy reveal their true feelings for each other. Uff.... I think I was happier imagining that this was the best book I had read and always wanted to go back to it when I felt like. Of course now no more!!! So much for the background on women's rights!!

Salsa in a feminist world!

I have started learning salsa recently, have been in for 5 classes now. One of my colleague kept saying that this is a very scientific dance but i could'nt really figure out why she said that until the last class. Till now we were mostly learning the basic steps and were practising them on our own in class, but now we have started doing partner work and that's where the whole issue lies. It is the guy who leads in salsa and the woman has to only follow his cues. Now I seem to have a problem with this as I like to think for myself and may not really like to follow my partner all the time in the dance. I mean I may not want to do a right turn when he is leading me to do one, so then what happens? So i realsi in this class there are again a lot of things that I am going to unlearn and relearn....uffff.

The other aspect that I realised was that if the guy can only give cues which the woman has to follow then the tuning between the two partners has to be perfect, thats where the scientific bit comes in. It is about understanding each other really well and it is also about the guy knowing exactly what the girl wants. There are also aspects like you don't give your hand to the guy till he asks for it...so it is about the guy getting what he is asking for, but it is aslo about the girl giving only the things asked for not more not less. Not much of an option here isn't it!

Anywhich ways, its is thoroughly an enjoyable dance and it is also attempting to bring out the feminine, seductive side in me!!

Harry Potter and the world in general

Well, since this new job gives me a lot more time in my hands, not only after office but also in office, I decided that I should catch up on a lot of reading that had been pending for quite some time. My colleague introduced me to e versions of Harry Potter. All these years I kept wondering what the hell is the big deal??? why is everyone going crazy about HP? but then i discovered..... now in a months time I have finished reading 7 HP and am left feeling a void, now what??? There is constantly this feeling in my head somewhere that I will soon discover my own magical abilities and join the HP league of wizards and witches (ofcourse a lot of people who know me would think that I already am a witch, especially my mom who would lovingly call me and my sis 'chudail' when we were young). But i must say here that HP series have changed the way I look at the magical world, the whole image that was in my head about this world was of ghosts and witches who loved scaring the shit out of you, thats what has always been shown in the movies, there are very few which actually showed magic in good light and then the ramsay brothers did not leave any stone unturned to confirm my fears with the magical world. Ofcourse there were few things which did want me to have some magic in mylife like Shazaam, which was a cartoon that would be aired on DD2 during summer holidays in Mumbai.

I had thought that HP would be very childish and I may not enjoy it that much, but I was in for a complete surprise when I had read around 20 pages of the first HP, coz there was no turning back I had gotten completely sucked into the world of Harry Potter and all that happened around him. The seventh one is over now and I wish I could have a wand and a broomstick to use... Bye bye harry, hope to see you again.

Life and Death

Its funny how people you just assume will be there and therefore you have taken them for granted and don't really keep in touch, suddenly, like an act of very insensitive attention seeking behaviour just vanish in thin air and leave you to keep thinking of all the times you could have been in touch, did you actually wish that person happy birthday the last time you could, of course you didn't know then that it would be the last time. One such incident happened recently with a friend and it just made me sit up and think of all the people I have not bothered to keep in touch with!! Friends, relatives, ex room mates, college mates, everyone. I just shudder to think what will I do if someone so close does the vanishing act on me again (When my father passed away I was to young to realise the impact and when I did realise I was old enough to deal with it.) Somehow for a very long time I would keep prepapring myself for people in my life who would just leave and go, like my mom and my sis, my very close friends, my boyfriends, it was crazy I would imagine how it would be and I would also actually cry at the shock of it all. Then I realised that I can never be prepared for something like this and as and when this will happen, I will be impacted and I will have to deal with all that I have to deal with then, so there is no point. Infact in keeping myself ready for this I would not let myself get too close to people, I guess this was the imapct of my father's early death. Atleast now I haven't managed to kill everyone in my head and seriously, I feel a lot more free now, coz if someone has to go then that someone has to go and I don't think I can ever be prepared enough. It is better this way as then I live for today and worry about tommorrow only when it becomes today