Mausi o Mausi

Ok, I have been meaning to write this for a longtime, but just could'nt bring myself to do it. 2 days later will be chhaya mausi's birthday, she would have turned 61, but she passed away on 18th august 2010. It still brings tears in my eyes and I think it will be so for a longtime. Suddenly some memory creeps up and reminds me of her.
When I shifted to Delhi in 2000 I had stayed with mausi for a month, I think that had brought me very close to her apart from the fact that she is neerav bhaiya and sonu's mom. Mausi, extremely cute, always called everyone motu and added 'maarongi bahut' after that, had her typical ways for everything. There was a time when she had false teeth only for the front four teeth and they would invariably fall off when she would laugh, which was quite often! She was getting ready for Neerav bhaiya's wedding ceremony, but had'nt come out of her room so I went to ask her what happened and there she was standing in front of the cupboard frantically looking for something..... she could'nt find the saree that she was supposed to wear, coz she had kept it properly somewhere... there are a zillion stories that I have about her which come up. She would always tell me that my mother in law would say 'maa aur mausi ne kuch sikhaya nahin'!! and i would just laugh it off and tell her pehle MIL toh leeke aao.

She was someone I could always talk to no matter what and no matter about what... I miss my motu like hell, so many things just went away with her.....   

Not very feminine I guess

Maybe because its winters and usually one ends up being completely covered, maybe because I have short hair, or maybe it shows in my body language/attitude that I'm not your typical, everyday Indian woman.... I got mistaken for being a boy..... twice.... in one week!
So Im sitting in the delhi metro, ladies compartment, minding my own business, when on one station the women security persons enter the ladies compartment to drive away the men from the compartment, its a scene that I almost always enjoy coz most of these women are thin, short and the kind who can be physically overpowered at any point in time, so its very empowering to watch them driving away hordes of men from the ladies compartment. Anyhow, Im sitting in one corner and after the woman security person has asked all the men to leave the compartment, she is generally screaming in my direction that,'sunai nahin deta kya?? yeh ladies compartment hai! chalo niklo yahan se...' and I'm wondering who is she talking to coz all the men have gone and then she points to me as asks me to leave, when i look at her completely shocked. That's when she looks at me closely and says,'oh aap toh ladki hain'! All the women in the compartment go heeheeheee and I'm like this is terrible!
Cut to me going to the lajpat railway ticket counter early morning to book my tatkal ticket for going home. This place is a fairly small booking counter and has a different counter for women so I mostly get confirmed tickets in tatkal here. When i reach there is a line for the men already there with around 15-20 men there and there are no women, so Im standing at the side, again, minding my own business. After sometime the guard comes around to monitor that everyone is standing properly and then he looks at me and asks,'haanji, aap ladies hain? and I just give him a scornful look and say haan, then he says toh wahan jaa kar khade ho jaiye, with the men in the line whispering to each other, smiling and looking at me.
Thankfully it hasnt happened again, but it left me wondering yet again that how much we expect people to adhere to norms and if they don't fit the categories we have made for them then we just dont know what to do with them! 

New Year, new beginings et al

Loads of things that make this new year a special one. For one, professionally i'm clear about what i want to do for atleast the next 15 -20 years.... be in courts, practice as a lawyer, be available for human rights work. It was what I was doing earlier too and then i took a break explored other things like working in a corporate, doing research and now im back to being in courts and to be very frank, is what im most comfortable doing.

Personally, I think there are a lot of concerns that I had about myself that I have resolved. I have also realised that everything is not a battle unless you make it. Because this perspective is altered, a lot of aspects of my life which were a fight in my head have automatically resolved.

Also this year brings back a lot from the past, old workplace, old friends, old love interests all have resurfaced and for the better... :)