My Pensieve

2011-12-20T10:49:00.002+05:30

Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home, where my thought's escaping
Home, where my music's playing
Home, where my love lies waiting
Silently for me

I am Bored

2011-11-08T16:10:00.000+05:30

Well since i have too much work and the main one being reading company law, I am obviously BORED!! There is a reason why I kept away from this side of the law, coz it make no sense to moi, but unfortunately life has other plans for me and when you begin representing workers in courts, you need to smarten up and be aware of all the tactics that the corporates will employ to outwit the workmen of their measly 0.001 percent income in comparison to the profits being made by these companies. Pooh!!

Anyhow, since I am bored, I am looking for something to take my mind off bloody company law, therefore I blog and think uff wish something exciting happens to me! But then, wait a minute... hasnt my life been way too exciting in the past few months? I mean come on, the trial finally got over, i got involved in defending some other human rights defenders, things moving in professional front and most importantly the biggest development ever in my life.... :) obviously love love love...

Then why the hell am I not on some lovely beach, soaking the sun, talking sweet nothings with my beloved, or why am i not in Bombay sitting at marine drive, holding my beloved's hand staring into the wide expanse of the sea, or why am i not just on my terrace sipping tea, discussing future plans with my dear and getting lost in each others eyes...gahhhhhhh, because guide to companies act is beckoning me! uff bloody

as soon as

2011-07-18T20:23:00.001+05:30

the case is over, im going to start writing Mirchpur diaries. promise to self and to you

Paimona..... my latest craze

2011-06-29T21:43:00.000+05:30

I am totally in love with this song. I had heard it for the first time in office as this is DJs ringtone and then I heard it again in US in the bus when we were going from one meeting to another, mr taxman had played it on his mobile phone. Just love it!! Have borrowed the lyrics from http://evocarememorie.blogspot.com/
This is where you will find the song http://www.youtube.com/user/cokestudio

Paimona Bideh Ki Khumaar Astam..
Paimona Bideh Ki Khumaar Astam..
Man Aashiq-e Chashm-e Mast-e-Yarastam..
Man Aashiq-e Chashm-e Mast-e-Ya...rastam..
Bidee Bidee Ki Khumoor Astam..
Paimona Bideh Ki Khumaar Astam..

Chasmat Ke Bagh e Khutan Mein Mula..
Royat Mu Khula Phai Chaman Mein Mula...
Gul Robae Kunay Tharak Warak Muay Khunay
Mulalaay Zaray Bay Watan Miyayarat.......

Paimona Bideh Ki Khumaar Astam
Paimona Bideh Ki Khumaar Astam..
Man Aashiq-e Chashm-e Mast-e-Yarastam
Man Aashiq-e Chashm-e Mast-e-Ya...rastam
Bideh Bideh Ki Khumaar Astam....
Paimona Bideh Ki Khumaar Astam....

Azumadanay Tagar Khabar Mein Dashtan...
Peshae Ka Damat Kocha Ragul Mein Khushthan...
Tol May Khushtam Gul e Gulaab Mein Khushtan..
Khakay Ka Damat Khaday Gamay Wadashatan...
Paimona Bideh...

Paimona Bideh...
Paimona Bideh... Ki Khumaar Astam
Paimona Bideh Ki Khumaar Astam..
Man Aashiq-e Chashm-e Mast-e-Yarastam
Man Aashiq-e Chashm-e Mast-e-Ya....rastam
Bideh Bideh... Wang Wang
Bideh Bideh... Why.. Why Why
Bideh Bideh Ki Khumoor Astam
Paimona Bideh Ki Khumaar....... Astam

English Translation:

Bring me the glass so I may lose myself
Bring me the glass so I may lose myself
I am in love with my beloved's intoxicating eyes
I am in love with my beloved's intoxicating eyes
Bring, bring so i may lose myself
Bring me the glass so I may lose myself

Your eyes light up the garden of Khutan
Your face lights up the roses in the gardens
Face like a flower, it gives petals their fragrance
The Land of my beloved is Lalazar

Bring me the glass so I may lose myself
Bring me the glass so I may lose myself
I am in love with my beloved's intoxicating eyes
I am in love with my beloved's intoxicating eyes
Bring, bring so i may lose myself
Bring me the glass so I may lose myself

If I hear of your arrival
I will spread a carpet of flowers under your feet
Spread flowers, spread rose flowers
I will sacrifice myself at the dust of your feet
Bring the glass...

Bring the glass...

Bring me the glass so I may lose myself
I am in love with my beloved's intoxicating eyes
I am in love with my beloved's intoxicating eyes
Bring, bring..
Bring, bring..
Bring, bring so i may lose myself
Bring me the glass so I may lose myself

URDU Translation:

Aisa Jaam de Ke mujhe Kumaar aa jaye
Aisa Jaam de Ke mujhe Kumaar aa jaye
Mein Yaar ki mast aankhon ka aashiq hun
Mein Yaar ki mast aankhon ka aashiq hun
De. de ke mujahy khumaar aa jaye
Aisa Jaam de Ke mujhe Kumaar aa jaye

Tere aankheir jin se Baagh-eKhutan mein ronag hai
Tere Chehra Jis se chaman ke Gulaab mein ronaq hai
Phool sa chehra jis se patta patta mehekta hai
Yar Ka Watan Lalazar hai

Aisa Jaam de Ke mujhe Kumaar aa jaye
Aisa Jaam de Ke mujhe Kumaar aa jaye
Mein Yaar ki mast aankhon ka aashiq hun
Mein Yaar ki mast aankhon ka aashiq hun
De. de ke mujahy khumaar aa jaye
Aisa Jaam de Ke mujhe Kumaar aa jaye

Agar tere aanay ki khabar mujhay milay
Mein tere qadmoon se pehle gali mein phool bichhaoon
Phool bichhaoon, gulaab ke phool bichhaoon
Tere qadmoon ke khaak per apna aap vaar dun
Jaam de...

Jaam de...

Aisa Jaam de Ke mujhe Kumaar aa jaye
Mein Yaar ki mast aankhon ka aashiq hun
Mein Yaar ki mast aankhon ka aashiq hun
De, de..why why
De, de..why.. why why
De. de ke mujahy khumaar aa jaye
Aisa Jaam de Ke mujhe Kumaar aa jaye

I love myself.......and my blog

2011-06-07T15:42:00.000+05:30

Ya ya I know, I am slightly mad...... ok i take that back, I am quite mad, eccentric, difficult, dont have the usual inhibitions in life, speak my mind no matter what, dont get cowed down easily, love to laugh, bindass aka carefree, control freak, crazy about bags, bangles, jewelry, postcards, love food, spicy stuff, have a short attention span, have a face that can speak volumes without me opening my mouth, and for all of these reasons and others I love my self :)

And I love my blog because it is the cyber manifestation of all of these things about me.....heeheehee I love me

IVLP: what it is and why was i floating in the US of A in April

2011-05-29T15:50:00.000+05:30

To begin with... I am very much back in India, in Delhi, in the courts... so that should set the record straight, well I hope :)
Well so what on earth was i doing in US?? Ok, so the US Department of State has a programme called the IVLP i.e. International Visitor Leadership Programme, you can read more about it here http://exchanges.state.gov/ivlp/ivlp.html wherein the US embassies in variopus countries nominate people who they think are potential leaders in their respective fields, put them together, see what are their previous experiences and areas of expertise and send them on a 3 week programme to the US where they meet other people from different countries working on the same issue and persons working on similar lines in the US.

I was nominated last year for this programme and in April 2011 alongwith 9 other persons from various Central and South Asain Countries I visited the US on a programme on Transparency in Government. We visited 6 places: Washington DC, Miami, Dallas, Boston, Manchester and New York. On my way back I also did a stop over at London.
Crazy April for sure, literally went to the airport from the Michpur case and travelled so much in 4 weeks that by the end of it I was quite tired. It was a great experience for sure and it has opened up a number of avenues for me. We were 10 of us, 3 from India, 3 from Pakistan, 1 each from Bhutan, Sri Lanka, Afghanistan and Kazakistan. Alongwith us were 2 people from the Dept of State who were traveling with us. Over all a great experience, I have been back in India since 1st of May and am back in the grind :)

Watch this space for some more madness.

there are...

2011-02-04T23:04:00.000+05:30

too many new babies around me! I tell you!! of course I cant get over my own nephew to begin with, give me a chance and I will start narrating small, useless details of Ishu's life, how he talks, walks, sleeps, pottys everything I remember I will tell. Then we have Mr. Gonsalves who has a 4 month old baby girl and he (obviously!!) cant stop talking about her, how she rolls on her stomach and loves the sun and makes signs when she wants to pee or potty!!
Then we have my cousin sister who recently had a baby boy, then we have my best frennmy who had a baby girl almost a month ago and then we have my long lost friend who had a baby boy last week...baap re!!

Ofcourse the only thing that ms putey would say to this will be that our system is screaming 'baby baby' and we are refusing to listen at which point I refuse to listen to her too!

Mausi o Mausi

2011-01-26T21:55:00.000+05:30

Ok, I have been meaning to write this for a longtime, but just could'nt bring myself to do it. 2 days later will be chhaya mausi's birthday, she would have turned 61, but she passed away on 18th august 2010. It still brings tears in my eyes and I think it will be so for a longtime. Suddenly some memory creeps up and reminds me of her.
When I shifted to Delhi in 2000 I had stayed with mausi for a month, I think that had brought me very close to her apart from the fact that she is neerav bhaiya and sonu's mom. Mausi, extremely cute, always called everyone motu and added 'maarongi bahut' after that, had her typical ways for everything. There was a time when she had false teeth only for the front four teeth and they would invariably fall off when she would laugh, which was quite often! She was getting ready for Neerav bhaiya's wedding ceremony, but had'nt come out of her room so I went to ask her what happened and there she was standing in front of the cupboard frantically looking for something..... she could'nt find the saree that she was supposed to wear, coz she had kept it properly somewhere... there are a zillion stories that I have about her which come up. She would always tell me that my mother in law would say 'maa aur mausi ne kuch sikhaya nahin'!! and i would just laugh it off and tell her pehle MIL toh leeke aao.

She was someone I could always talk to no matter what and no matter about what... I miss my motu like hell, so many things just went away with her.....

Not very feminine I guess

2011-01-26T21:30:00.000+05:30

Maybe because its winters and usually one ends up being completely covered, maybe because I have short hair, or maybe it shows in my body language/attitude that I'm not your typical, everyday Indian woman.... I got mistaken for being a boy..... twice.... in one week!
So Im sitting in the delhi metro, ladies compartment, minding my own business, when on one station the women security persons enter the ladies compartment to drive away the men from the compartment, its a scene that I almost always enjoy coz most of these women are thin, short and the kind who can be physically overpowered at any point in time, so its very empowering to watch them driving away hordes of men from the ladies compartment. Anyhow, Im sitting in one corner and after the woman security person has asked all the men to leave the compartment, she is generally screaming in my direction that,'sunai nahin deta kya?? yeh ladies compartment hai! chalo niklo yahan se...' and I'm wondering who is she talking to coz all the men have gone and then she points to me as asks me to leave, when i look at her completely shocked. That's when she looks at me closely and says,'oh aap toh ladki hain'! All the women in the compartment go heeheeheee and I'm like this is terrible!
Cut to me going to the lajpat railway ticket counter early morning to book my tatkal ticket for going home. This place is a fairly small booking counter and has a different counter for women so I mostly get confirmed tickets in tatkal here. When i reach there is a line for the men already there with around 15-20 men there and there are no women, so Im standing at the side, again, minding my own business. After sometime the guard comes around to monitor that everyone is standing properly and then he looks at me and asks,'haanji, aap ladies hain? and I just give him a scornful look and say haan, then he says toh wahan jaa kar khade ho jaiye, with the men in the line whispering to each other, smiling and looking at me.
Thankfully it hasnt happened again, but it left me wondering yet again that how much we expect people to adhere to norms and if they don't fit the categories we have made for them then we just dont know what to do with them!

New Year, new beginings et al

2011-01-26T20:50:00.000+05:30

Loads of things that make this new year a special one. For one, professionally i'm clear about what i want to do for atleast the next 15 -20 years.... be in courts, practice as a lawyer, be available for human rights work. It was what I was doing earlier too and then i took a break explored other things like working in a corporate, doing research and now im back to being in courts and to be very frank, is what im most comfortable doing.

Personally, I think there are a lot of concerns that I had about myself that I have resolved. I have also realised that everything is not a battle unless you make it. Because this perspective is altered, a lot of aspects of my life which were a fight in my head have automatically resolved.

Also this year brings back a lot from the past, old workplace, old friends, old love interests all have resurfaced and for the better... :)

Or maybe not...

2010-11-15T12:09:00.002+05:30

This year has been a bit strange. Umm actually i take that back, this year has been extremely strange, too much gadbad,, introspection, dealing with a lot of things that I had'nt dealt with etc etc. But in the middle of all, this was also the year i couldnt make up my mind about where I want to be. Having spent 10 years in Delhi I think I wanted to take a break from the city and spend sometime elsewhere in the world, therefore the inclination to move to London for LLM and then the inclination to move to Ahmedabad for work. None of which happened! Still very much in this city, will be winding up work and going home for a break soon. lets see what 2011 has instore pour moi.

Gujju Land here I come

2010-11-02T17:06:00.002+05:30

So looks like shifting was inevitable for me, even if I didnt move to London for my LLM, I am moving to Ahmedabad for 5 months on another short research project and to assist in the filing of High Court appeals for our office that looks after around 200 riot related cases of 2002.

Even though I havent started packing physically I have done this packing a couple of times in my head! Yes I know, thats what a control freak does, so where have I denied being one!

Anyway, at the moment I have too many loose ends to tie up and only then will I have time to pack and then move. I will be keeping my place in Delhi so if anyone wants to stay in Delhi for a couple of months please do contact.

Ofcourse the great part (apart from the pao bhaji on law college road) is that I will be a 6 hour journey away from home :) Now that i really like :)

New Crush!!

2010-09-22T13:46:00.002+05:30

I saw Once upon a time in Mumbai last night.....not bad, didnt get bored at all in the movie, everyone acted well, I think it is the first Emran Hashmi movie I have sat through etc etc etc... but the bestest part about the movie was RANDEEP HOODA and that too in a well tailored police uniform....gaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Idhar Udhar Kidhar

2010-07-15T19:56:00.003+05:30

Have too much going on all together (surprise!!) therefore didnt write in so long..
have 4 different things that I need to concentrate and write on, have 2 different people taking away my attention, have atleast 4 new decisions that i need to take, have 2 places atleast that i need to visit before miss kaur leaves the country (boohooo), have atleast 4 things which i need to clarify with 4 different people, have past, present and future to worry about........ now just blabbering...tata, will return when a bit more sane!

Reading a Novel

2010-06-07T15:24:00.002+05:30

Just finished reading Sacred Games by Vikram Chandra an epic literally based on the life of a gangster, police walla, bomb scare and Mumbai. Very very bollywoody fit to be made into a movie. On the other hand, I think it is also a mish mash of a number of Bollywood movies, so there we go...!
But what I wanted to write about was how one can get completly lost in the characters of the novel. Specially a story that has soo many characters and each and every event, character is developed and explained in such detail that it can all individually make a short story in itself. Even though I complain about how the novel is not getting over, I do enjoy reading one, it takes you out of your own life, how ever mundane or interesting your own life would be and you suddenly become a silent observer in the craziness of other peoples lives.
The other part is that after you finish reading it for almost 2/3 weeks there is a complete void suddenly and I am unable to understand what to do... therefore I pick up the next one.
But now, I am surely done with plots based in Mumbai, although I still have maximum city to finish, which is not fiction though. Anyway thats my rant for the day :)

Too Much

2010-05-15T16:15:00.002+05:30

As usual.. I dont have time to breathe and therefore I find time to write a post :) But why is it that I dont have time to breathe?? actually i do, its just that my head is filled with too many thoughts of the things to come...what things you may say...so here goes:

I have finally made up my mind to go to London for my LLM. I had gotten addmission in SOAS last year, but didnt have any funding therefore I deffered it. This year also I did not get any funding, I guess I am not good enough for them to pay for me apart from other things so ya, I am still going with the huge loan to pay for my studies
I have exactly only 3 months to finish consolidating, analysing, writing, re writing the work that I have been doing for the past few months on communal massacres.. I am so nervous that I am not even thinking about it....
I have been nominated for the IVLP prog that the US Government has, which entitles me to a paid trip to USA for 3 weeks where i meet other similarly placed persons from US and other parts of the world, meaning thereby complete networking... but the concern currently is I dont know when those 3 weeks happen so it is driving me a little nuts... but i am completely excited about it
In the middle of all this atleast a dozen people around me are getting married, I am going crazy
I have to plan my packing of my stuff... I have spent 10 years in this city remember!!! and I am crazy about bags, books, clothes, cupboard, bed, fridge, kitchen, shoes!!!!!! what is to be done yaar!!

Anyway so that is my update for the time

Dreams

2010-05-03T11:13:00.000+05:30

Plundering of labour
is not the most dangerous.
Neither is police beating
most dangerous.
The clenched fist of treachery, greed
is also not most dangerous.
Most dangerous is
Becoming full of morbid peace
Loosing rage and passion
Enduring all
Leaving home for work
And from work going back home
For the most dangerous is
Death of our dreams.

From http://krititeam.blogspot.com/

blabber blabber

2010-03-31T17:00:00.001+05:30

Ok so I am completely and thoroughly bored! I need some excitment in life yaar. I am bored of getting up in the morning, getting angry at the maids (coz they are late!! and they are always laughing when i am lecturing them) damn it, having breakfast, getting ready, going to office, checking mail, fb etc, doing everything possible to avoid reading FIRs, wait for lunch time, have lunch, wait for disgusting tea to happen, pack bags and go home. then comes the interesting part, coz we always have something to do in the evening... Oh lord what do I do?? I cant be bored like this all the time....waiting and anticipating.... anyway, I will be in court tommorrow so yay to that and I saw LSD yesterday, it was not bad, i like experiments in cinema so ya not bad. We might be going to jaipur next week end!! and Im dying to go home. there is still no response from Mumbai on our RTIs uff!! and now im just balbbering!

Communal Riots and Me

2010-03-18T16:55:00.002+05:30

I was 4 years old.... we had come to meerut to get my chacha married, chacha chachi had run away and gotten married side main and then my grandpa came to know and all hell broke loose. My father being the eldest son stepped in and spoke to amma and babaji to let this be and accept chachi. Therefore we were in North India on 31st October 1984. Since there was going to be an arya samaji wedding and there was also a curfew due to Indira Gandhi having been assassinated, there were hardly any people who had come home. We were leaving the same day or the next morning, I dont quite remember that.... all I remember next is that we were at the New Delhi railway station, mausi mausaji and muni were also there, i dont remember if rishi bhaiya was there or not......we were in the waiting room and I remember seeing blood and a lot of hair on the floor, I asked my mom what this was and maa said to me that the sardarjis were being killed and to save themselves they were cutting their hair off. Next I remember we were at the platform and suddenly a huge crowd came running and mom pushed me towards the wall and covered me. I hadnt seen the mob, but I had heard it.. I can still hear it. In the train (rajdhani or deluxe something) the glass windows had been hit and some of them had broken, the route had been changed and i was told by my cousin that it was because the sardars were killing people in the trains...... I do know the full truth of this now
In the year 92, i was 12 years old... a number of things had changed in my life by then, in december the riots in mumbai took place. I was living in Santacruz west and my school was in Bandra west. our school was shut for quite some time and then it was shut for christmas. We all were always scared and I remember that the muslim famlies in our colony had gone completely indoors, cudnt see them at all. Do remember the look on firoz's face once i had seen him outside. I also remember my school friends telling me that they could see mahim burning from their building terraces. We never talked about what happened, never discussed it in school. I remember once we were going to honey uncle's house in amboli, I think it was his bday or sumthing, I remember vandana was there and she was pregnant and we had passed a maha aarti taking place, I was really scared and didnt want to look up and just quickly walked away from there. Honey uncle had an enfiled bullet that he used to ride and he had told us that once he had saved some person because the group of 4/5 people thought he is from the police and they just ran away from there and the person they had gheraoed was saved...... thats what i remember from the mumbai riots
When gujrat happened I was in delhi studying law. I think it was then that i realised how much i have blocked information about riots from myself. I just did not want to accept that my city had altered so drastically and that human beings were capable of such violence...
Here I am now doing an accountability study of the state response to communal massacres, facing my fears, lowering my guard and letting the truth affect me, crying and wiping my tears and going ahead with my work, telling myself that this work will have an impact....

It isnt any trouble just to S M I L E

2010-03-16T11:43:00.005+05:30

I remember this song that we were taught in school in class 2 or 3 i guess..... well why do i remember it now?? coz my work is just making me soo angry that i need to remind myself to smile and enjoy the momnet that I am living in....the difference that I need to make I am already on the path to making it...so that should not affect my ability to smile and laugh easily..isnt it??
So smile when you are in trouble, it will vanish like a bubble, if you only take the trouble just to SMILE.......

2010-03-10T14:06:00.001+05:30

I am so pissed i cant even describe it

2010-02-23T14:49:00.000+05:30

I must be strong and carry on...coz i know i dont belong here in heaven..........

Hooked line and sinker

2010-01-27T00:25:00.002+05:30

Ok so its official, I am addicted....... to SATC (Sex and the City to the uninitiated) We i.e. J and I are on the last episode of Season 4 and I do hope and pray that J has downloaded the next season!! We are so involved that we keep finding the characters from the series in our life. I know I have a Steve, I have had a Big who is so not coming back (something that I am extremely proud of!!) I sure am looking for Adian.. dont think I have that one figured out, and by the way season 4 went i do sure hope i am ready to be tied dowm when i find my adian :).. Oh and who am I?? Well a mix of Carrie with loads of Miranda and a hint each of Samantha and Charlette.. so basically all 4 of the lead characters of the series. I also am completely in love with the way Carrie so easily pens down stuff on her laptop at some point in every episode... it so inspires me to blogg... obviously a lot comes in the way and therefore I am writing exactly after a month.. teehee..
A lot of women I know think that SATC just promotes a stereotype of how women should be and of the kind of problems single successful women face and that finally it does end in all of them finding the right men and getting married and that it is so much about sex and dating and multiple partners...etc etc... ok so i do agree that some of the stuff is a bit much from where I look at it.. but who am i kidding, arent we all actually looking for the compatible other, whether we are willing to give it a name like 'marriage' or not.. we all are, and thats what this series is all about... and you can judge me all you want, but i sure am a big fan of SATC !!

Ishu turns 2

2009-12-27T10:43:00.006+05:30

Today Ishaan, my nephew turns 2.... He was born in the morning 2 years ago and has gone from being a mouse to a full blown 2 year old who is more than happy to beat up people, get married to Gehna in his playschool and some bhaiya from upstairs, is very clear that Anna Massi (me) always comes in a plane and no one else can do that, is also very clear when I am around that Nannu (mom) is his (and obviously not mine!), sings rock on songs with a plastic tennis racket as the guitar, calls piano panno and uses the same word for asking you to put on his shoes for him.. pannno naa... has a crazy sense of humour (well if you have met his parents you would know where that comes from!) will speak to his grandparents in marathi and to my mom in hindi :).. shakes one shoulder and dances in a cirlce going dhin chak dhin chak, obsesses about everything going in its proper place (proper place defined by him!), will say 'ok bye' if he does not want to talk to you or if you are disturbing him in his routine (whatever the routine is) when he gets a firing from manna or sallo, he will sit quitely for sometime and then say sorry mamma... ok and smile reaallyyy cutely.

Wishing him all the fun that he wants to have and oh, his grandparents have gifted him a cycle, so he is off to a new phase of his life... the one where he has a lot more mobility and the one where my sister will loose a lot more weight!!! wish my grandparents would have gifted me a cycle when i turned 2.... atleast then i would know how to ride one and not have to begin this journey when im nearing 30!!

New Chapter

2009-11-30T20:03:00.002+05:30

Tommorrow I begin work with the Centre for Equity Studies, also known as Aman Biradari. This is an organisation that was started by Harsh Mander sometime after the Gujarat riots. This new work means a complete shift for me from my comfort area (read women's rights) to the broader issue of communalism. I am quite excited about this shift and also am a little nervous since I havent really kept myself updated on this issue.
I am also happy and sad since I came back to Delhi after spending nearly 4 weeks at home :) so right now I am also missing being at home like crazy. After a very long time I had spent so much time at home and had sort of got into the routine of things there. Mom leaving in a crazed hurry in morning, coming back at 6 tired awaiting her cup of tea. My sister and my crazy talkitive nephew, who can steal your heart by his sorry and ok. I was called 'anna maasi' by him, totally miss him...
On my way back I had a chance to visit Sanchi stupas and Khajuraho temples, since I was going for a friend's brother's wedding in khajuraho. That was well... quite refreshing, different and for sure SHOCKING :)
Anyway, will write soon about my new work, till then my dear blog, wish me luck :)

All I want is...

2009-11-10T15:49:00.002+05:30

...a room somewhere, far away from the cold night air......hmmmm im at home, in mumbai.. Its funny whenever i say this i find the need to specify home in mumbai, coz i can pretend to hate it as much as i do, delhi is home too.. its the place i started living on my own and continue to do so, it is the place i lost and found love and i continue to do so too, and i must start admitting it (more to myself than anyone else) that i do miss it quite a bit.
Having said that, I am so pleased to be home right now and i am so thank full for the break that I have got :) The weather is beautiful here, it has been drizzling the whole day and so its quite cool. My nephew has gotten over his beating up phase and so thank fully he does not smack me at every given opportunity like he used to before. He lovingly calls me 'anna maassi' and 'annu mausi', he keeps running around the house asking everyone and everything 'kaa hua kaa hua' and then when you tell him he says 'accha accha' like he has understood and approved everything...
I hav done my quota of watching television, people who know me well enuf would know the non existence of a tv in my life, which i make up for whenever i come home. Its only the second day and I have 2 full weeks to go :). I plan to go to college, the beach, marine drive, gateway, bandstand, basically everywhere i can catch glimpses of the sea
That my dear friends is all I want, and guess what?? that is precisely what I have :)

Moving On

2009-10-28T09:51:00.002+05:30

I am sort of in transition right now, the future is worth looking forward to which makes my present happy, but my present is my present which makes me impatient. I want my tommorrow to become my today really fast, but as it is it will take time. I was in this phase around 1 and a half years ago when i had joined the corporate world. Did'nt know where I was going or what is expected of me and what am I suppose to do.
When I look back i know that the past year has shown me some difficult times and I also know that I have managed to deal with them with a smile on my face. I am glad i survived, coz i guess thats who I am.
And now I am just rambling away!!

Beware

2009-10-26T13:34:00.000+05:30

Nobody today, come in my way, coz today i will bark and bite

Long Weekend: Kya Kiya?

2009-10-20T15:20:00.002+05:30

Friday: Choti Diwali, actually let me start with Thursday evening. I was dropped off in Khan Market by an office colleague. I had put in some effort to dress up (read: wear salwar kameez with some bling). I had dinner in Side Wok in Khan market (I love their chicken suimai and phad thai noodles yum!!) Went to meet Ashish in his office in South ex. He decided to take me home since his wifey dear was fuming a bit. They had a get to gether in their colony (Yes there are colonies also in the Delhi... surprise surprise!) After that at 11.30 pm we went to Saket were all the potters (not the famous family, but the profession :)) have their shops, since diwali was literally round the corner there was a lot of crowd there. I simply love that stuff!!! was gifted lovely chimes made of clay :))) Then stayed over at Ashish's after helping them put up the lights etc etc etc. Got up early friday morning, went home, got ready (read wore a saree!) and reached office. Was in no mood of working in office and in any case there was a rangoli competition in office so just did stuff for that (read moral support and some support in spoiling the good work).
Was dropped off to Chacha's place by another office colleague. Had good home cooked food. Read 2 states, went off to sleep.
Saturday: Diwali day. Cleaned chachi's fridge, went crazy about the amount of vegetables in that house (I think its a ploy to keep the woman in the kitchen!!). Helped out in cleaning the house and cooking. did general faffing around in the house. Got ready in the evening for diwali (read wore new clothes, some more bling!) participated in the pooja headed by my grandfather (will write separately about this too. There is no mention of the woman in the artis except for when referring to a childless woman who should be blessed with a son... uff) Oh also watched Dasvidanya in the day ...lovely movie! Then my cousins went off to burst crackers while i watched from the balcony... that was fun though. Finished 2 states adn went off to sleep.
Sunday: Got up lasily, had breakfast... chachi had woken up earlllllyyy and made loads of kadi for the entire colony (too much!!) Cousins and moi went off for a movie (BLUE.... disgusting !!) Bought a gift for my cousin brother and for my granpa. Went off for a get to gether of my law fac friends. That was fun.. a lot of catching up... too many chutka children running helter skelter...w ent to the deer park for dinner, laughed my guts out... had fun. reached home at 1 am
Monday: Bhai Duj: RB came in the morning, got him in sync with my next plans for life.. thank god that happened. Slept off for a bit, did gocery shopping. WEnt off to my mausi's house for bhaiya duj. This was fun. I was at some crazy level and broke into a song at any given opportunity (read as all the bloody time). Caught up with a friend on the phone for almost 2 hours. Went off home slept late got up early cooked cleaned, got ready reached office... damn this week.

Full Moon

2009-10-04T21:37:00.003+05:30

It was a full moon last night. I have been out quite late for the past few nights. Infact one morning i was up till 4 am and was on my terrace. Even it was'nt purnima the moon was looking heavenly (considering that it is a heavenly bosy, that shudnt be suprising:)). The moon was on the left and right above me where numerous stars twinkling away to glory. Then last night was the full moon and we were at a friend's place on the terrace. Now her terrace was veerrryy different from ours, it was the 2nd floor technically and was surrounded with trees. It was a lovely breezy night and we had food and drinks in the moonlight and some candle light.
Today I am writing this sitting on my terrace, it is quite cold today since it rained a bit this morning and again im falling in love..... with the moon :))

VIP movement

2009-09-22T11:12:00.003+05:30

It is soo very troublesome when VIPs decide to be on the move, that too without any prior notice. Why do they need so much protection from us? we elected them didnt we? if we wanted to hurt them we would bribe their body guards, wouldnt we? Obviously the need to notify residents in advance is never felt, they dont even bother to put up signs saying that the road ahead has been diverted. We will just have a traffic guy standing there and stopping vehicles... only slow moving vehicles mind you, which means its only rickshaw walas who have to bear the brunt, 2 wheelers and 4 wheelers are more than welcome to do what they like.
Its the modern techno age people. If the security of the VIP is such a big concern, just get them to log on to the function without having to be present physically, a lot cheaper and atleast people who actually have work to do can go about doing their usual stuff

Age has got the better of me!!

2009-08-19T14:59:00.002+05:30

Last night I was working late in office. There are guys who come in around 8.30 pm since they work as per US timings. As they walked and said their hellos, one of them started praising the movie Kaminney. Now I have not seen this movie, and of course you will say that you have just returned from a vacation, what on earth did you do there?? The answer my friend is swine flu.... no i dint have it, but i was surely affected by it as the cinema theatres where all shut in Mumbai.. anyways
Now my cab is set to come at 9.30 pm and I would reach home in 20 minutes so I quickly check the internet to see where all is this movie running and it is showing in 3 Cs which is next to my house for a 10 pm show. I am all excited that I will go and see the movie tonight yayayay
But I call atleast 8 people (since my original phone is not working, i dont have all my numbers therefore 8 wonly!) and none of them agreed to see amovie at the spur of the moment... i was shocked!! I dont have anyone in my life currently who is wiling to do things at the spur of the moment... I have surely become old, but so have the people around me

I finally concluded that I should stop depending on people and get my own vehicle instead!

Ab na ja: Euphoria

2009-08-07T22:39:00.000+05:30

Ankhen Band Kar Lu Jo Mein
dekhu Bas Tumhe
khwabon Mein Keh Sakta Huin Aapna Tumhe
rehne De Mera Ye Wehem pe Hi Yakin
na Jaa abhi
pyar Ki Yeh Raat Hai Ab Na Ja
chotisi Ik Baat Hai Ab Na Ja

tumhi Se Hai Meri Neendein Na Bhi Ho To Kya
tumhi Se Hai Meri Baatein Na Bhi Ho To Kya
kehne De Taaron Ko Kahaani Ankahi
na Jaa abhi
pyar Ki Yeh Raat Hai Ab Na Ja
chotisi Ik Baat Hai Ab Na Ja
pal Do Pal Ka Saath Hai Ab Na Ja
jadusi Ye Raat Hai Ab Na Ja
ab Na Ja
aankhen De Pyaar Ki Boondein
bikhre Se Kai Sawaal
ankhon Mein Kitne Mausam Pal Mein Beetein Kitne Saal
behne De Jahan Bhi Le Jayen Zindagi Na Jaa abhi
pyar Ki Yeh Raat Hai Ab Na Ja
choti Si Ik Baat Hai Ab Na Ja
pal Do Pal Ka Saath Hai
ab Na Ja
jadusi Ye Raat Hai Ab Na Ja

serendipity

2009-08-07T22:05:00.002+05:30

I am suppose to be packing like crazy and ironing clothes etc etc, but what do i chose to do?? any takers??? Well yes, i choose to watch a movie and since I have an early morning flight i watch a movie at home, otherwise i was planning to go watch Love aajkal in the theatre.
This friend of mine at work has been going on about this movie serendipithy for ever. She shared the song 'Moonlight Kiss' by Bap kennedy which i fell in love with :)
Today I finally got to see the movie ...!!! just one word for it HOPE.... sumthing that has been my middle name, but recently i was feeling that i was losing it, and there we have it again :)

Songs I want to sing part 2

2009-08-03T23:32:00.002+05:30

What? did you think that was it??? arrey you obviously do not know me then!! here we are with list 2:

Right now I am soo in the mood for 'You oughta Know' Alanis Morrisette..... need i say more?
Talli ho gayi: Ugly aur pagli: hard Kaur... totally love this one and do want to try this out on stage:)
Oh meri jaaaaaannnnn ooohoooo.... Life in a Metro nice one
Strangely cant think of anymore songs! so then there will surely be a third list somewhere

Just Stuff

2009-07-29T00:17:00.003+05:30

Even though I have let you pass,
Your memories still trespass
Even though I had burnt bridges
There seems to be a connection that has surpassed
I wonder now, why did i erase material things
when the details remain etched in my heart.

I have been Tagged :)

2009-07-28T12:09:00.002+05:30

Got this from Suchi dear, who in the middle of her marriage has the time to blog.... wow!! Either she is super stressed (which is tyhe most correct answer!) or she is super prepared hee hee hee we know about that now don't we?? So here goes:

Three names I go by:
1. Anubha (coz thats what they named me :))
2. Anu (most obvious short form for my name)
3. Anshu (Maa calls me this)
4. And I am going to cheat and put in some more

Chech and Big fat chief (Ananth and Avinash), btw there is a history to the second name will discuss later
Moti/ Amma/ Bhai (obviously!! mostly my law fac guys)
Rastogi (Avinash and Manna sumtimes)

Three Jobs I have had in my life: (If I start from the begining)
1. Help at a Cake shop: Cakes and Flakes
2. Programme Monitor Times FM
3. PR The Bowling Company

And then:

4. Legal editor: part time Lexis Nexis

5. Associate: The Chambers of Law

6. Assistant Director: HRLN

7. Deputy Manager: Global IT Company

Three Places I have lived:
1. Mumbai, India
2. Delhi, India

Three Favorite drinks:
1. Water
2. Nimbu Paani
3. Bloody Mary

TV Shows that I watch:
1. Sex and the City
2. Friends
3. How I met your mom

Three places I have been: (Lots of them, will put down the recent ones)
1. Udaipur
2. Mumbai
3. Baroda

People that text me regularly:
1. Nidhu
2. Akki
3. Rupesh

Three of my favorite foods:
1. Mumbai food
2. Thai
3. Chinese

Three Things I am looking forward to
1. Going home in August
2. Studying abroad
3. Whatever else life throws at me :)

Need to make a list

2009-07-12T22:04:00.006+05:30

Over the days I keep getting ideas of things that I want to blog about, but when i actually sit to write sumthing i phorget!!! Therefore, I should make a list...well really like that is going to happen!
But on the other hand, I have been in the habit of making laundary lists for almost everything, so I should not be too sceptical about making a list of things to blog about.
Anyways, right now I am very excited about august:), obviously coz I am going to kolkatta and then yes please, I am going home.....tadatadatada
The other thing that has been bothering me soo damn much is me behaving so strangely around a particular person of the opposite sex that I am attracted to. Shit man I have changed so damn much!!! I was never the kind to think soooooo much before going and speaking to a guy and tell him that I like him and that we should go out for a bit, but right now, I am just shitting in my pants when this man is around!! Oh god, i am losing my bindassness, not good i say not good, this corporate wolrd is choking the life out of me, damn it!!!
Need to make a list of things that i think have changed about me in the past 1 year and see whether this is good or bad.... and a long list this will be!

Old Monk Cutting

2009-06-28T23:03:00.002+05:30

I dont quite remember when did i actually start drinking... no im not an alcoholic like that, occassional drinker thats all. But the fact remains that somewhere in graduation in Ruia is what i remember. We were preparing for the annual college fest and this time our princi dear was really giving us a tough time, behaving like the college is his own fiefdom and we are his slaves, so we were quite pissed off as it is.
I was in my final year i think, and I was also the cultural secretary of the college and for the college fest Utsav, i was the coordinator for performing arts so that was anyways quite a bit of craziness anyways.
I dont really remember how i got this name, maybe if the guys who gave this name to me read this post then they will be able to through light on this. There were a couple of guys who had joined the first year, but they were almost our age as they had dropped out of engeneering or sumthg so we anyways gelled quite well. Also in Mumbai there is a culture of cutting chai at the chai ka tapri. So somehow i got the reputation of being the one who instead of asking for cutting chai asks for old monk cutting.
This could also be as most guys find old monk too strong and call it the drink for the horses. One guy even told me that if i leave a piece of chicken in a glass of old monk, then by next morning that meat would have dissolved as the alcohol is so corrosive, which works fine for me frankly, i do need some fat to dissolve:)
So that ny friends is the story of how i came to be known as old monk cutting or OMC. I was chatting with one of these guys the other day and he actually referred to me as OMC.
BTW i got this name some 10 years ago!!!! WOW

Songs I want to sing

2009-06-22T15:54:00.003+05:30

Let me make a list of songs that I would love to sing on stage: hee hee hee

Dekha jo tujhey yaar, dil main baji guitar, jhalka aankhon se pyar, dil main baji guitar, cha raha kaisa yeh nasha rey, aa raha jeeney ka mazza rey, arrey rey rey main toh gaya reh dil bhi gaya reh.... Apna Sapna Money Money. even though this song has 2 versions both sung by men (Mikaa and Amit Kumar) I totally love this song... it is soo bloody mumbaiya. So therefore, this song to be sung on stage with music and a crazy crowd:)
Na lihaf na gilaf thandi hawa ke khilaf sasuri..... yes my dear peoples, this is beedi from Omkara. If there is any thing that I will truely be remembered for in this office especially in my team, it is for my laughter and the umpteen number of times that I have sung this song with all the right expressions (teehee). But i am awaiting an opportunity to sing this on stage and yes the entire song all by myself
Sajna ji wari wari jaon ji main... I am not too confident of this song as i have never really sung it, but what the hell it is totally my type. You do know Honeymoon travels pvt ltd
Now the list is actually a wish list sorts as i have not really tried these songs much and they are quite complicated like that:
Kaisa jadoo dala rey.... from Khakhee, i am in love with the music of this song and the variations that sunidhi chuhan has done in this song too cool
Hai ishq toh ishq toh galey se lagaley..... Dus.... ohhh i am unable to express in words what the music of this song does to me!!! just great

That is all for the day folks see you again:))))

Monday morning

2009-06-22T15:44:00.002+05:30

At some stage in my life I am going to get Mondays banned... yes sir I will be at that stage at some stage in my life, but till then me and all others will have to suffer the Monday morning, afternoon, evening and night BLUES. In the words of Suchi... Uffffffff.... with the longest sigh ever.
And then we had this tracker meeting today so I also have a huge list of things to do, but where I ask is the inspiration to do the same?'
The only thing I am totally looking forward to is that I am going home in August tumtadeedee !! But then there is an entire July in between which will have atleast 4 mondays....... Lord!!!

Catching up

2009-06-21T10:31:00.003+05:30

Hello there, havent written in sooo long :) there are atleast 3 new posts that i started and then jsut saved them. Loads of developments have happened. Let me just make a list:

Sharmaji shifted in place of Suchi, after that room being empty for nearly 3-4 months
I have gotten really busy at work, no they are still not doing much on harassment at the workplace, but i have just found ways on keeping myself busy so I am learning new things and especially the corporate style of working, but surely my work here is not done!
I got an admission offer from SOAS for LLM, I wanted to go there and no where else, but no scholarship...boohooo
Personal life changed drastically..... i guess thats all i'll say abt this, but that I am doing a good job at moving on.... pat on my back:)
Have found a new friend and am thankful for having found her, wish that would have happened earlier
Saw a hilarious play the other day.... The Complete Works of Shakespeare ... in 90 minutes flat, so u can imagine what they did.... too good
Sang on stage after 9 years.... lived up to my reputation and sang genda phool, no cudnt sing beedi, wud want to do that on stage sumtime
Went to chandani chowk yesterday to look at some shaadi type stuff. (no, im not gettg married,, sharma will soon and therefore). But atleast now i know, that's not meant for me, chandani chowk for sarees that is
Had parantha in paranthey wali galli, not bad at all
Bought 2 new sarees, now my new agenda in life is to also wear them to work and in everyday life basically
all set to go to kolkatta and then home in August, suchi is getting married totally looking forward to that
Got my second book published 'Claiming Dignity' it is a compilation of all cases affecting reproductive rights of women either positively or negatively in India

Ok, I also solemnly swear upon GOD that i will write more regularly.. lets see where that goes :)

Where am I?

2009-05-05T11:28:00.001+05:30

I think I am in Delhi, Noida, but I feel like I am in Azkaban surrounded by Dementors

Tuesday Morning

2009-05-05T08:57:00.001+05:30

It is a Tuesday morning which is out of character and behaving very badly!!! It thinks it is a Monday morning and has shown up like one:(

Moonlight Kiss: Serendipity

2009-05-04T23:19:00.002+05:30

I can feel my heart
And it's fit to burst
I try to clean it up
But I just get worse

Wish I could fall
On a night like this
Into your lovin' arms
For a moonlight kiss

I thought I saw your face
In the evenin' sky
On a lonesome cloud
That was driftin' by
I wish I could fall
On a night like this
Into your lovin' arms
For a moonlight kiss

You got someone else
Maybe it's for the best
Since I took the cure
For happiness

And I'd trade it all
On a night like this
For your lovin' arms
And a moonlight kiss

For your lovin' arms
And a moonlight kiss
Lovin' arms
And a moonlight kiss
Ooh, yeah

Songs

2009-05-04T23:07:00.002+05:30

It is soo strange, some songs have the habit of just creeping up on you when you least expect it and bring back all kinds of weird, inane memories. My life revolves around songs. I remember places, events, things in connection with the song that I was listening to at that point in time. This is not too bad, but when a song suddenly brings back some funny memory that you didnt know existed in your head, then you are taken by surprise and sometimes, you are left at the mercy of the memory that song brings back.
Dont know if I made annnyyyy sense :)

Evening at Mocha

2009-03-29T12:10:00.003+05:30

Hello, spent some part of last evening at Cafe Mocha, missed Suchi quite a bit.

After a long time

2009-03-29T11:19:00.002+05:30

Hello there, I am writing after a very long time! Well for beginners at least i have been able to upload a photograph of myself again, so i am not just a faceless shadow anymore:)
Life has been quite ok for the last month, too many ups and downs in my worklife, but things seem to be brightening up, so thats a welcome change.
I haven't heard from any universities yet, so i dont think i am going to study further this year, well lets see, we shall apply again next year.
In any case, even though i was getting a bit fed up of my current job and was on the verge of leaving at various stages of the past year... I just was'nt convinced that I should leave. I think i was viewing leaving as an escape, without having made the difference that I could and can in this workplace. There seems to be a sort of silver lining in this dark cloud!
Speaking of dark clouds, it has been raining like crazy in Delhi since the past 2 days and last night was just amazing! J and I were missing Suchi in the middle of all this... remembering the crazy times last year when our terrace would become the sea and we stuck on our ships in a storm.. those were great times. Suchi, really wish you come down to Delhi atleast once before August.
Baaki life seems ok, i am getting used to being in transition so i am able to deal with it more powerfully, instead of getting bogged down by it. Will be writing soon again... promise:)

No Photo

2009-02-16T10:08:00.001+05:30

Last night i decided to change my profile picture in the blog.... so i removed the old one and teice spend half an hour each to upl0ad a new one, which obviously didnt happen... so now my profile is photoless, much like i wish my face was!

A toast contd...

2009-02-12T15:01:00.002+05:30

I was very excited about the pinkchaddi campaign and thought let me share this with some women in my new (read corporate...forward!) office and I was expecting reactions like 'way to go' and ' cool we should join up' etc. But what did I get??
Me: Cool ain't it, now all you have to do is send a pink chaddi at this address and on 14th Feb with other friends go to a pub and raise a toast in the name of the SRS
She: My god are you mad, I don't want to get killed... but i like the pink chaddi thing, if they have a website where i could pay online I would like to do that
Me: Ya whatever, so let finish work and then we will chat ok...!!!!
I sometimes think I should my enthu adn excitment and flush it down the ladies wash room on our floor!!!

Music in the fort

2009-02-11T17:30:00.002+05:30

This Saturday J, me and Jameen, another colleague from pold office went off to the Old Fort to listen to Hariprasad Chaurasia and Shiv Kumar Sharma perform together live. We had though that we would be late, but luckily we were just in time. The last time we had gone for dance recitals in the old fort, the entry was free. So I assumed it is the same thing and we started off without any pass, ticket etc. At the entrance we were asked by the security guards to step aside and speak to these suited booted men who had satin sashes in their necks representing the 3 colours of the Indian flag.
I protested and said that the ad did not mention that we needed passes or anything... J was her charming self and said pleaaase let us go in. Finally the men could'nt resist her charm and relented and let us in.
As usual, I have never seen the old fort in the daylight, I have only seen it lit up at night. Ofcourse, I have passed the old fort on my way to court a thousand times and I frankly do like the old fort much more than the red (read new) fort, but i have not ventured in it. The old fort looks lovely at night and the lights have been placed in a way that brings the entire structure to life.
We found places to sit and just then Hari prasad Chaurasia started the recital. It was lovely... not that I undestand classical music that well, but just the experience was very relaxing and followed by santoor wadan and then 2 jugal bandis between the flute and the santoor were just too good. It was a bit too cold in the open, but i guess i was ok with that.
This is definately one of the things i like about delhi, the space and in recent times the way the space is being made use of... Music in the Park in another initiative by the Delhi Government which is always awaited. Then there are the SPICMACAY programmes that also take place in open areas which are also worth keeping track of.
All in all it was fun

Dev D

2009-02-11T10:51:00.002+05:30

Hmm, saw the much awaited movie last night, finally. For me this movie was important also because my dear friend M @ B was invovled in it and had given me an insider's view on the movie and the songs, especially emoshanal attyachar.
A, J and I had gone for the movie, while J and I had pretty mcuh the same reactions, A was going gaga about the camera angles , this and that, basically stuff that I don't really notice in the first time!
The movie theatre was full of a lot of men and in this movie the starkingly different reactions of most men and women to the same scene could clearly be seen. For example there is a scene where Paro is picking up the bedding after being completely humiliated by Dev and going off, for some strange reason a lot of men in the theatre found this funny, while it actually is an emotional type scene... I guess a lot of men could not deal with woman being shown so clear, informed and demanding about her sexuality, clearly she is seen as some one who is loose, forward, has no morals and someone against whom even the domestic help can easily gossip and be believed.
Similarly, when Chanda is being pulled back into the house and she screams about not repeating her behaviour with every tom, dick and harry who walks in also got loud cheers as a reaction!!
I actually felt like screaming, do you even know what you are watching, this is not a porn movie yaar!
Anywhich ways, overall I think this is a big breakthrough in being upfront about one's sexuality and dealing with it.. good show!

In the name of Lehman, satyam and ors...

2009-02-10T17:40:00.003+05:30

we will violate all employment and labour standards, we will squeeze out every ounce that we can from our employees, we will constantly threaten them of loosing their jobs, we will cut pays, refuse pay hikes and all of that!!!

A toast to the Sri Ram Sena!!

2009-02-10T17:37:00.002+05:30

Found this link on facebook and on blogs i visit, a totally cool initiative adn one that I think will make a strong point http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com/. Go on peoples, where ever you are lets make a toast to the Sri am Sena on 14th Feb and lets send them pink chaddis as a gift!!

White Flag: Dido

2009-02-06T16:16:00.003+05:30

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it well I'd still have felt it,where's the sense in that
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder Or return to where we were but

I will go down with this ship and
I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble, I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over" then I'm sure that that makes sense but

I will go down with this ship and
I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet, which I'm sure we will
All that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
And you will think, that I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship and
I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship and
I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship and
I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be

I am aware...

2009-02-06T12:54:00.000+05:30

of every nerve and muscle in my body, because every single of those nerves and muscles are screaming for attention..... no this is not the result of love or any related activity.....! This is the result of my supe khadus gym instructor! He obviously thinks I am some kind of juvenile jumping around in the gym, I think I will have to remind him at some stage that I am 29, lawyer and refuse to get bullied into running up and down the staircase 20,000 times!!

Conversations to be noted

2009-02-06T11:00:00.000+05:30

He: This friend who has been married for quite sometime called me and said that his marriage is not working out fine and maybe they are heading for divorce
Me: Ok
He: You know, i told him, whatever it is, is totally your fault
Me: Ok
He: But you know, even though they both are working, his wife does not do any housework... like he literally has to wash her clothes too
Me: SOOO?
He: I mean can you believe it, he has to wash the clothes, she does not wash them!
Me: (trying not to break this man's neck!) Well women have washed men's clothes for centuries, if one man is washing his wife's clothes, what on earth is the big deal??
He: Oh shit, I forgot who I was speaking with!!
Me: Anyways, why can't they buy a washing machine or get domestic help?
He: No no they have a washing machine, he has to wash the clothes in the washing machine
Me: @*%$#%% (and walk away without causing any physical damage)

News Today

2009-02-06T10:28:00.002+05:30

I have stopped reading the newspaper in print, mostly because the paper would not reach me every morning and that irritate the hell out of me, so i decided to opt out. I now read the newspaper online. Today the front page consists of the Nanavati commission, the UC Banerjee Commission, the Liberhan Commission, the banglore explosion.... and I havent even finished reading the front page.
Frankly I don't even remember anymore the chronology of blasts and terrorist attacks that have taken place. I don't know whether this is because there are too many of them or because I just wnt to shut my mind out from these happenings... I don't know what we are going to do about this situation and what worries me even more is that we refuse to deal with the root cause of all this terror.. we have judges saying that we should have strict terror laws this that, but really are people born terrorists? or they become terrorists? I mean are we going to deal with what exactly happens that drives a normal human being to be ready to shoot people and get burnt alive absolutely willingly?
I was in a seminar on Human Rights in Nanital once and after most poeple had spoken, the audience was also sharing their thoughts. One of the members came up and advocated for a stronger anti terror law and death penalty and no need for a trial etc for 'terrorists' to which i again spoke up about death penalty and why the concept itself is against human rights. In response to this I had a High Court judge turn around and say that if he ever had the chance he would without doubt sentence a 'terrorist' to death penalty without a second thought. When i replied back about how easily the State was washing its hands off by not dealing with the circumstances which make people so called terrorists, all the high Court judge could say was that all this study for the purposes of criminology can be done at a later stage, but right now stroang action is required....
Don't really know what we are heading for!

Looong Weekend!!

2009-02-04T11:34:00.002+05:30

Last week I had a longish weekend (4 days actually...heehee!!) So Friday night movie happened.. I saw Luck By Chance, nice, I liked it quite a bit and I think I am falling in love with Farhan Akhtar. Only in the movie his character is a capricon as he reveals during the movie, but me thinks his character is very very sagitarian: you know witty, smart ass, charming to the core, opportunist and selfish, and really sagis u really cant do anything about it, some people are like this only. Anyways, Saturday was spent in previous office writing a proposal which I knew would be re written considering the reputation of my previous boss. I went shopping to Dilli Haat on Saturday, that was fun. I finally bought some silver earrings, very nice hep danglers. The overall atmosphere was fun and colourfull, had fun. Since I had gone with Aanchal, so a lot of Ruia and its people were discussed.
Late night was disturbed by a nocturnal bird, tried to shoo the bird away, but then saw some sense and let the bird stay....(don't know for how long I will see this 'sense' though!). Saw Slumdog millionaire till early morn, like this movie too, will write a separate post about the movie considering all the hallagulla around it.
Sunday morning Miss Sunshine read J was back home, early morning was spent giving and getting an update! Missed her quite a bit. Spent the Sunday indoors, finishing some arbit work here and there, saw a stupid movie 'harold and kumar' mopped around since sunday was getting obher and fell asleep.
Now come monday morn and I was'nt feeling too great, decided to stay at home and chill and finish some pending work. J also came back home quite early, I spent the evening in previous office and that was that.
Tuesday morning, I am all ready to leave for office and have even finished packing my lunch when I casually say to J that I don't feel like going to office today, J voices similar feelings and we both decide to take the day off and go shopping, which we did. I saw Luck by chance again yesterday, and really I liked it quite a bit. Went oveboard shopping, got totally obsessive about purchasing a chair, did'nt get around buying one though (that's on agenda for today!) and highlight of the day, went and joined the gym J goes to. She has lost quite a bit of weight so I too got inspired. Actually when you shopping for clothes this is one of the side efffects, so I decided to cash on this side effect and paid up for 3 months. After that I bought shoes for the gym and this morning I spent an hour working my butt off in the gym... thank you thank you!!!

The best part yet: 2 more days to go and it is weekend ..again!! yippeeeee

Weekend Couples

2009-01-13T10:44:00.002+05:30

I met a very interesting peson on my bus ride to shimla. No, it wasn't a nice guy, my knight in shining armour, so please women stop jumping around in excitment!!! It was this nice looking girl who was standing alone next to the bus with a bag in he hand. I had reached the bus stoip at around 7.10 and was waiting for my luggage alongwith publications to turn up. People who have been part of HRLN or my life in HRLN would know what I mean when i say publications!! SO we both were standing next to each other and we got talking. She looked like she was just out of college or had just begun her career except for the tiny hint of mangalsutra that i could see peeping out of her jacket. So in the conversation I asked her her reason for travel as she asked me and she said that her husband was in Shimla... she had gotten married just the last month and after her chutti got over they both had to go back to their respective work places adn therefore she was in Delhi and he was in Shimla, posted in the Army. She travels like this every friday evening and reaches shimla Saturday morning, spends the weekend in shimla and takes a bus back to delhi on sunday night and reaches Monday morning. Luckily for her, her workplace is ok with her working in 12 to 9 shifts during the week till thursday and then on friday she works from 7 to 4 so that she can get eady for the bus journey.
I was just wondering, right now I get a little bit unhapppy with the fact that all the things Im doing right now are not going to be very long lasting and therefore I dont know if I want to invest all my energy in it, the solution that comes up in my mind is that once I settle in my personal life, which will most likely be a marriage (coz even if i dont like it, i am a bit traditional!!) then things will be fine. But looking at this weekend couple I was just wondering how it would be!! coz even though it was a arranged match, she sounded like she was quite fond of the guy and that so was he.... so it must be so frustating that you can't be with each other for the entire week and then to be with each other one has to travel to the other, so you dont have that feeling of being settled at home, where you have the weekend to put your life in order.... for example she said that even if she has to buy stuff for her home she does it in Shimla coz she does'nt have the time in Delhi!
I then realised that I do know a number of couples like this and although it gives me a sense of the changing mindsets quo women's professional careers, I dont really know if I would be ok being a weekend couple... what say you?

Weekend

2009-01-12T10:55:00.002+05:30

Hello all, This weekend I was in Shimla for a judges training on the PCPNDT Act (the law in India that regulates the use of ultrasound technology and prohibites selection of sex of the foetus). Will write about this law and all related stuff at a later stage!!
My colleauge Ritu and i had qualified for the duet singing competition finals which took place on friday in a far away office of my company in Noida. So i was quite worried about reaching for my bus to Shimla in time. I was taking a Volvo from Himachal Bhavan. Anyways I reached well in time and was waiting for my luggage and stuff to appear. The bus journey was quite peaceful, I slept quite well and eached coooolllllllddddd Shimla at 6 in the morning. The training was to begin at 9 so I had some time to rest and get ready.
Anyways the training went as usual. This was the last in the series for Himachal and I had kind of gotten used to the reactions that the judges give to a law like this and how the easiest solution that they can give is to curb legal abortions or track pregnancies, basically run around and follow the pregnant woman even to the loo but don't even touch the doctor who does the stuff and is actually the offender. It is amazing the number of times the doctors give the argument of demand and supply, because there is a demand they justify the violation of the law!! Its like saying that because there is a demand for sex, rape is justified!
As usual we were able to wake up the sleeping participants from their deep slumber at least for a bit... hmmm
The weather was lovely, but frankly after having seen palampur, dharamshala and kullu manali I thought Shimla was just ok. The best I liked was palampur, totally untouched and the snow capped peaks are right in your face, it is sooo lovely there! We went out in the evening to the Mall road, there was nothing to buy as the road was full of branded shops, we had some nice himachali food and headed back to HIPA (Himachal Institute of Public Administration) where we were staying. The next day we left in the afternoon to catch our train from Kalka and obviously on the way i stopped and bought fruit wine. The last time I had got a variety of flavours. This time i bought on plum wine, ummmm it is so lovely!! Now i am waiting for opportunities to beak into the case of wine....yummmmm!!

All in all it was an alright trip, now major work will take place as a follow up to the training... lets see where this goes:-)

I'm back

2009-01-08T09:14:00.002+05:30

Hello Hello, Happy New Year!! Well went home for chutti, played with crazy and completely cute nephew, ate some of the stuff that i wanted to, sang at a karaoke!! and all that. We have a talent competition going on in our office. Yesterday was the singing competition, so obviously i took part, although i have'nt sang on stage for donkeys years now, but what the heck!! It was a lot of fun, I sang (very vey contrary to my image!!) Bade Ache Lagtey hain from the movie Balika Badhu and with another colleague I sang Hum Toh Aise hain Bhaiya from the movie Laga Chunari main Daag and thoroughly enjoyed myself!. My colleague Ritu sang this lovely song in he absoulutely amazing voice, so much so that this morning it is still resonating in my mind!! Oh it was just lovely, I have googled the lyrics and put them down, enjoy!!!
Hindi Song: Roz Roz Aankhon Tale
Movie or Album: Jeeva
Singer(s): Asha Bhosle, Amit Kumar
Roz Roz Aankhon Tale Ek Hi Sapna Chale
Raat Bhar Kaajal Jale, Aankh Mein Jis Tarah
khwaab Ka Diya Jaale
Jabse Tumhari Naam Ki Misri Honth Lagayi Hai
meetha Sa Gham Hai Aur Meethi Si Tanhaai Hai
roz Roz Aankhon Tale ...
chhotisi Dil Ki Uljhan Hai Yeh Suljhaa Do Tum
jeena To Seekha Hai Marke, Marna Sikha Do Tum
roz Roz Aankhon Tale...

Hmmm

2008-12-18T11:18:00.002+05:30

Back to my non writing mode!!! Too much happening to gether to get any sense of things....I don't know how any more wrong decisions I am going to take be that work, personal whatever.... Atleast I know I have improved like hell on my shooping front. I guess the charm of new money does go off soon. I don't even know what I am writing.
OK So let me say something happy, am wearing new jootis that J bought for me, they are a lovely brownish red and are of a very different cut... so thats nice. Wow, I can already think of lot more nice things, I will be home next weekend for One WHOLE WEEK!!! yayay!!!! Totally looking forward to playing with crazy nephew who now a days hums Farhan Akhtar songs!!! and he is not even a year old.... will eat sev puri atleast twice a day... I swear, i miss that stuff like hell.... will meet up with Bulki, Nidhu and Gouri. That hasn't happened in a long time. I think this time I will go to college too, miss that place, specially since I met Aanchal in Delhi and we have been remembering our college days, so definiately will do that. I guess thats enough, and i am feeling better already...Yayayayay!!! am going home!.

Yay Yay!!!

2008-11-26T18:53:00.003+05:30

Suchi is back, Aatreyee is in town, I spoke to Nidhu this afternoon, J made yummy baingan last nit!!! Now all i need is maa, manna, gouri and bulki and then I will be just fine..... hey looks like life is already getting better!!!! of course my boss told me this morning 'yeh koi time hai office aane ka???', boohoo!

What do I know about myself?

2008-11-25T10:51:00.002+05:30

That I laugh easily and heartily, i love smiling, sometimes I can be a smartass, love to be out in the open in comparision to being at home, but sometimes the opposite is also true, but most of all I am hopefull and a true romantic. Dreams, hope, possibilities are my key words..... but now it looks like it is changing. Its quite amzing how 3 years of women's rights work did not make me bitter, but the past 8 to 9 months have! I dont really know what this is going to lead to, but I just know that I don't wnat to change my basic core as a person. Tell me someone, will my happy, hopeful, positive self actually go away, is this really called maturing and becoming worldly wise? I really don't want it to happen, but sadly I can see that it is!
2008 is the year which showed me financial well being, I felt like I was being rewarded for all the hard work I did, but it is also the year that shattered my heart, like Nidhu says there is this knot in my heart which tightens up when I am reminded or I think of the way this year went, and it does'nt look like this knot is going to loosen up ever. It is now that I can say that I know what it means to be alone in a crowd....... anyways, this will pass too and I will see better days or just different days when I can start dreaming about the future again.

Im Losing it

2008-11-24T19:40:00.002+05:30

I have spent almost 9 months in htis workplace and I am going quite crazy... I know the right thing to do is to be patient, save the easy earned money, relax, enjoy blah blah blah blah but you know what, I have had just about enough, I am sick and I am tired of being useless and getting paid for it. I know a number of people would love to trade jobs with me, you know what, be my guest!!!!!!! Its ok. I am done, I have had enough. It is looking so difficult for me to now atleast finish a year here, but since that is the prudent, practical, sensible, smart thing to do..... I am going to do it!!!! Its like there is atest going on in my life, personal front also is identical to the professionsl front.......gaaaaahhhhhh I am seriously losing it, help please, mommmyyyyyyy

Another day passes

2008-11-11T16:25:00.001+05:30

Long long time

2008-11-06T14:16:00.002+05:30

I haven't written in a long long time!!! and now i dont know what to write, such is life..... bloody!

Durga Puja and Dusehra

2008-10-10T11:52:00.002+05:30

This is the first time in my life that I did 2 things on Dussehra: First I visited Durga Puja Pandals in Bengal Land in Delhi i.e. CR Park and I witnessed an effigy of Ravan burning!!! I had 2 days chutti in my office so I was there in my old office chatting up with others. The most funny part is that the three of us (my 2 roomies et moi) will sit besides each other in office also and have our own conversation side main, obviously the others dont seem to get what the hell is going on...nyways! Yesterday all three of us got dressed in beautiful sarees and jewellry. I with another friend went off to see some of the pujo pandals in CR park, had some bengali food and came back to office. Then in the evening we got some people from office home as in the park opposite our house the ravana and co were to be burned. We have seen the artisits working on these effigys right from scratch and it was a pleasant site to see the entire structure ready and standing. ALthough some of the fireworks were quite nice, the effigy had only niosy stuff and that was a crazy experience. Our house btw had became an open air theatre there were people on our terrace, our landlords entire family, some of their freinds whom they permitted to view the site from balcony seats!

After the entire show got over, we had our own masti what with 3 bottles of wine vanishing and jaishree going a bit crazy, it was all quite fun!! Heehee this was a dusssehra i definitely won't phorget!!

Self declared kings!!

2008-10-07T16:25:00.002+05:30

The admin guys in my office think they are above us all lesser mortals. In any case their lunch is an elaborate affair, where even most of the senior managment will either eat at their desk or in the common canteen, these guys will have their food served by the pantry guys who will heat it, serve it and after these 'men' have eaten clean up after them. Why does all this happen you may ask, oh but for one simple reason they decide which contractor stays and which contractor goes, thats why!! And obviously they are such scums of this earth that they take complete advantage of this so called power that they have, ufffff!! Today was the limit, they are having their nawabi khana in the cafeteria and they order a sandwich from the vendor who promptly gives it to them as he serves any other of us lesser employees... the leader of this pack of wolves asks him the cost of this sandwich, 20 rupees he is informed, this man tells him that he will get only 5 rupees for this, obviously the vendor guy is a little taken aback and demands to know why?? Then mr leader of rotting fungi asks him to come on his side , opens the sandwich and demands to know why has he not put more white sauce (read mayonisse!) adn then he tells him " main tujhe batata hoon 20 rupiyee kaise miltey hain , takes out a 10 rupee note from his pocket, tears it and then says le isse lele!!!! And amazingly this guy is an ex army officer, like what to they do there now?? instead of making you a gentleman they make you an animal!!
More than anything else, i want to meet this man's wife and ask her ...why why woman why haven't you poisoned him yet??

New Interest!!

2008-10-06T17:22:00.002+05:30

Hee hee heee..... ok so most people would know that I go to my old office on Saturdays, am still doing some stuff there and in any case it is a 2 minute walk from where i live, I have an off on saturdays and both my flat mates work there, so that is reason enough anyways. Arrey but now there is another reason...heeheehee. There is this really cute intern in my previous office, ok so first let me tell you, our office attracts law students and professionals from all across the globe because of the different work that takes place here in relation to human rights so there is always a variety of people in our office.
Anyways coming back to the case in hand...... (I wish!!). The best part is that all three of us have decided to compete so that just makes this even more fun. Anyways, dont think i stand much chance since i will get to see him once a week...hai.....

DOnt know

2008-09-30T15:14:00.003+05:30

Dont know what is wrong with me!! I just dont feel like doing anything now a days and I have soooo much on my plate, but still, something has gone off to sleep or died in me and nothing seems to be moving, need to get to the source of this!

Empowerment and all that jazz!!

2008-09-16T13:05:00.003+05:30

There is a family which lives right below us on the 3rd floor, had heard about the domestic violence and wife beating that goes on even before I had shifted in. An ex collegue used to live in the house we are in and she had also tried to intervene, counselled the wife, took her to the police station, but the woman finally said that she does not wish to pursue a complaint against 'her man'.
It has happened once or twice before that there has been crazy screaming and shouting coming from the floor below and I have just stood there feeling totally helpless!! Last night it happened again, this time I could'nt take it, I had to do something.. so after a lot of this and that, we decided to call the police. It was amzing as in this situation, there are so many things you think of, like we are three girls, we live alone and all that jazz, but finally I thought what the hell, i am going to do something to get this man to stop. Finally a policewalla turned up and after a lot of head scratching and some directions from us hanging from our terrace parapit, he finally managed to come upto the right house and ring the bell. We all opened our door and stood in the stairway to hear whats going on. All that I got was that the husband kept saying that it is my house and my wife and if we both deicde to fight and beat each other up why should anyone else have a problem?
To this all that the policewalla said was just don't make too much noise, if we get another complaint about the noise we will take action......??????? I was so tempted to go and inform the man that no he cannot beat up another human being just like that, she is not his property, it is against the law and all that, but then i heard the woman speak and she said that I am happy with this man, no we never fight and he has always been by my side!! I just didnt know what to do. Its not like its the first time I have seen the woman turn around like this.. it has happened before with clients on whose cases you would've worked like hell...but it was like a defeat in some sense, then there was this whole aspect of she choosing to live like that, but then really..who in their right mind would given a choice choose this, and thats where the point lies, given a choice, is there really a choice? Or maybe for her this is all life means, this is what she had been taught, adjust, stay putt, there is no other way, she does'nt know that another life is possible because she has given up any hope of there being anything else, this is it, this is her life, it just brings me back to feeling completely helpless, what is to be done, leave it or fight it?

Reading Shantaram!

2008-09-12T15:29:00.002+05:30

Am reading Shantaram and found these lines so true!!

"Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat, you throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out: your friends, everyone you used to know and its still not enough. The life boat is still sinking and you know its going to take you down with it. I think thats why I am sick of love"

just like that

2008-09-06T20:13:00.002+05:30

Coffe lovers unite!!

2008-09-03T17:30:00.001+05:30

So this one is just random! Yesterday a senior said that not everyone can get coffe right and no one can get tea wrong.....!!!!! I magine, the arrogance these coffe drinkers have and ofcourse you got it right this is a South Indian Tambram we are talking about, who else!!!

New Beginings

2008-08-31T16:43:00.002+05:30

Hi, today Im writing this blog from home!!! Finally have an internet connection at home...yipeee!!! But at the moment my laptop has gone to the doctor because of some insesnsitive viruses having attacked it, and typically like me, my laptop had also lowered down its defences so there was'nt a mandatory anti virus check happening on everything and here we landed in a soup!! It for me is a sign and it could'nt have gotten bigger than this and it also is the setting of a new begining in my life. Call me silly if you want but thats how i am, i believe in signs and gut feelings a lot and i just know that now finally is the time to gear up and move on, no point in attachements just beause some things are familiar and new beginings mean unknown territory! Hmm I am already feeling good about this, i know it will be difficult and there will be times when i will be vulnerable and would want to turn around, but will deal with that when I come to it, maybe it will, maybe it won't. Good, I am also very glad to know that there are non negotiables in my life and now i know what they are! I may not be making any sense to a lot of you, because i have been very contrary to what i used to be for quite some time, but its ok, just take comfort in the fact that I am back and I am good! I also want to say that this time also taught me a lot and also that i dont hold anything against anyone, there are differences and i respect and appreciate them and thats why i think it best to let go now before it becomes unbearable or too disgusting. this time has been important for me, you are important for me, just want you to know that.

Smiles all The while

2008-08-27T12:46:00.002+05:30

Ok so yesterday I was this grumpy, whinning, irritated soul who was finding faults in the world in general and obviously therefore the world appeared like a losing battle, hostile and all against me and therefore the post where I am conphused..... but today, I woke up with a view of conquering this world, just got reminded of Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail where she is practicing how she is going to fight with Tom Hanks who is opening up a huge bookstore and she is actually practicing punching in the air and saying to herself fight it fight it!!! Well anyways, the point is that with this attitude this morning I went and had a chut putt conversation with my boss and lo and behold I ahve loads of work in my hands!!! Not that suddenly cases have sprung up or trainings have been given a green signal, but I have been asked to align with the team that looks at policies and give legal inputs on them... good job done!!!yippeee and I realise that it is actually who I was being about this whole situation.. I know, will write in detail about my experinces in Landmark Education from where I get the ability to look at life from this angle.
So because I was being negative about this whole situation what I had as a result was negativity, but the moment I became hopeful and in control as opposed to being a victim of the situation and things have turned the way I wanted them to....so it all lies in who are being in that situation, are you being a victim or are you being the queen of your universe:-)

Dont know whether to be happy or to be irritated

2008-08-26T15:13:00.002+05:30

For most people who know me and are in cue with the latest developments in my life would know that I am in this new corporate job where my profile is specifically to look at cases of sexual harassment at workplace. Now, till here it is fine, but the problem is that I have to wait for the cases to be reported or complaints to be made, there is complete reluctance for any other activity with regards to this aspect to be carried out for the fear that unnecessarily we will encourage people to file cases. The point remains that the best way to make sure you dont get cases of sexual harassment at your workplace is to talk about sexual harassment, what it is , why it is an issue, and other dimensions of sexual harassment so that it is not a taboo anymore and colleagues can talk about it...but somehow this does not seem to percolate down in the minds of the decesion makers. Anyways what this leaves me is with this endless wait, loads of time, internet connection with a number of sites inaccessable (gmail and the like) and this whole disconnect with the entire office, you know there is crazy activity going on and i am just doing my thing somewhere... I know I have told myself a number of times that this is my time to chill, catch up on reading and writing, apply for courses here and there etc etcetc, but sometimes that does'nt seem good enough...Hmmm am finally going to get an internet connection at home, I guess that will atleast bridge the gap for me in my personal internet communication issues. Lets see.

Black or white

2008-08-25T18:12:00.003+05:30

Just have been wondering, do i really look at everything as black and white or do I actually acknowledge the greys?? Why is it that for me either it will work or it will not work, there is no mid way, but then mid way means make it work, does'nt it? I think it has got a lot to do with my profession, u know being a lawyer either u are here or there, u cannot really be in the grey about a case, but the fact remains that most aspects of life are grey..but then how do u strike a balance? i dont even know if I am making any sense!! You know the moment i feel that something is not going to work I begin to negate the aspects that made me believe that it will work, because the thing that according to me is not going to make it work will not change either..I think the difference lies in believing that it will work no matter what and constantly checking it out like a fence sitter...hmmmm thats what it is, it is about what i believe and not basing my belief on what happens...after all I am the queen of my universe!

Random lines from songs

2008-08-19T16:57:00.001+05:30

Last night I went to sleep thinking that I will post wordings of songs that I like, ofcourse the morning had something else instore for me Anyways will now try and do that, but I already know there will be a part 2 to this post sometime in the future.

Tum sangh Janam Janam ke phere, bhool gaye kyun saajan mere, tadpat hoon main sanjh sawere, aaja reyy (Madhumati)
jab bhi thama hai tera haath toh deekha hai, log kehtey hain ke bas haath ki rekha hai, humne dekha hai do takderon ko judtey hue, aaj kal paon zameen par nahin padtey mere (Ghar)
kal bhi toh kuch aisa hi hua tha, neend main the tumne jo chua tha, girtey girtey bahun main bachi main, sapney pe paon pad gaya tha, sapnoy main behney do, pyaasi hoon main pyaasi rehney do.. (Ijjazat)
Patiala peg laga ke, deewani main pagal main challi ho gayi, main taali main taali main taali ho gayi (Ugly aur pagli) (I know I suddenly realised kya love struck idiot type songs yaad hain mereko...but what to do we are like this only!!)
kabhi maine chaha tumhe cho ke dekhon, kabhi maine chaha tumhe pass lana, magar phir bhi... (gharonda)
hum tum kitne pass hai, kitne door hai chand sitarey, sach pucho toh mann ko jhootey lagtey hain yeh saare, magar sachey lagtey hain....tataon (Balika Badhu)
dekhtey hai jis tarah se teri nazrey mujhe main khud ko chupaaon kahan (Jism)
pyar ki yeh raat hai, ab na jaa, pal do pal ki baat hai ab na jaaa (Phir Dhoom, Euphoria)
ja ja rey ja rey ja rey, ja naale main jaake tu muh dhoke aa rey...(Padosan)

And we shall return with list... just for the record though, I think this must be happening with a lot of people, but I always have a background score going on in my head, for every situation there is a song going on in my head, you can imagine... in my head how life is a movie..but sadly when I am trying to think of a perfect song for a situation, it just does'nt come to me...hmm some mysteries of life we shall not understand and therefore we shall not try!!

Why??

2008-08-14T11:53:00.002+05:30

Why is it that a woman has to undergo a miscarriage to be able to exert control over her own reproductive self? Is this woman not part of "we the people of India..."?? Why should this be the mode of gaining independence? why can't the judicial system for once respect the right to privacy of the citizen who inspite of everything chooses to show faith in the legal system and is then very badly let down by that very system?why does a personal choice have to give way to a national (???) debate with all kinds of people terming something legal as murder? and why can't those same people speak up when there is such a hue and cry for hanging afzal guru.... is that not murder??

Stars shinning bright above you

2008-08-12T16:52:00.004+05:30

Last night i lay down on my terrace and watched the stars, did that after a very longtime... I think the last time I actually did that was in second year of graduationg college when there was some crazy metereological activity going on and so the sky was going to be full of stars a group of us had gone all the way to ambernath or something catching the last train and had then trekked a bit and on finding a good spot had all just lied down there till it was early morn and time to return for history lecture at 7.20 in the morng (IMAGINE!!!). At that time it was quite crazy coz the sky was full of stars, we were away from the city lights and pollution, so the stars were a lot more visible and it was such a treat!

Before that my memory of starry nights is when as a child we would come from Mumbai to Meerut for Diwali holidays. Our train would always come at around 9pm at the Meerut Cantt station and then it was bumpy cycle rickshaw ride to home, I being the youngest and actually quite chottu then would be sitting at the backside of the cycle rickshaw and would always be looking at the sky completely fascinated by the sheer number and size of the stars, even now when I close my eyes I have that picture very clearly in my eyes... ofcourse I have my own memories of cycle rickshaws, almost always as a child I had either injured myself while getting off the rickshaw or i had lost whatever footwear I had on my feet because my feet would be dangling and I would be completely lost looking around and therefore I would loose my footwear..totally loved that experience looking at the world going in the opposite direction and trying to take in as much detail as possible..!!

Back to last night, the weather was amazing, we have this chottu bench type on our terrace, I was lying on it facing the sky and saw one shooting star and loads of twinkling diamonds and then the clouds came in..very few at first and then slowly the whole sky was full of cluds and the stars were playing hide and seek with me. Love watching clouds, that is the part that amazes me the most when ever I am in an airplane in the day, as we soar above the clouds and then the cluds that were far away above us are now the ground we are trotting on ooohhh totally love it... espcially when I had been to Srinagar, could see the Himalayan peaks from above the clouds too, fascinating!

College Days

2008-08-05T13:08:00.002+05:30

Found this loitering about on the net thought shud put it up:

Ruia College
NAME : Ruia college

FULL NAME : Ramnarain Ruia college, Ramnivas Ruia Junior college

DIFFERENT CROWDS YOU CAN EXPECT TO FIND : Studious, die-hard katta fans and generally a crowd with which you will soon feel at ease.

CHARACTERISTICS OF THE 'IN' CROWD : Bunks regularly, start studing in Jan and still comes out with flying colours.

BEST DISHES IN THE CANTEEN : Ughs!!

BEST PLACES TO HANG AROUND IN COLLEGE : Katta, DP's Sherry's, Chinaman, Mani's(though not in the college, They are almost a part of the Ruia culture)

BEST EATING PLACES IN THE VICINITY: Besides the above mentioned plus Snowpoint,Relax,Udipi(Matunga stn)

MOST HAPPENING SOCIETIES : Natyavalay, Career Guidance Cell(?), Microbiology society, NCC, Film society.

LEAST HAPPENING SOCIETIES : Trekking club, Nature club...

LECTURES YOU CAN BUNK WITHOUT GETTING THE HEAT : Chemistry, F.C, Physics

THE BEST TIME OF THE ACADEMIC YEAR TO BUNK : It should have been the best time to attend lectures.

CRITERIA TO MAKE IT TO THE BLACK LIST : What a dumb question.

MOST FAMOUS PEOPLE IN THE COLLEGE : Prof.I.M.Jayakar, Isha Koppikar(Miss Talent in Miss India '95 now also an actress), Rahul Dharne(model), Parsad Rangnekar(model), Microites(studious,no bunking, heavy weight champs), Sonali Bendre.

THE BEST WAY TO GET PALLY WITH THE SENIORS : Be in the co-ordination committe of the Utsav, Be one of the katta members.

SUBJECTS THE COLLEGE IS PARTICULARLY WELL-KNOWN FOR (ARTS & SCIENCE) : Microbiology Chemistry, Economics

THE COLLEGE CAMPUS CAN BE DESCRIBED AS : Well located in the best parts of Mumbai and having a easy approach to all amenities required by the collegians (restaurants, cardshop, katta...)

ANY OTHER PECULIAR FACTS YOU'S LIKE TO SHARE : Inspite Ruia being a coed college, there are many, many more girls compared to guys!!

Rain Food!!!

2008-08-05T11:18:00.004+05:30

Last evening it rained in Delhi like it was Mumbai for a bit, infact it has been raining all night and this morning...its quite crazy. One is never prepared for these kind of rains in Delhi. It is not an everyday phenomena so you dont carry an umbrella, wear clothes that will dry fast, not wear light colours and the like and in any case neither is the city prepared for rain lashing like this sort. Anyways, so my bus from office to home was also delayed and by the time I got off at my stop it had started pouring so there I was like a shrievelled up cat waiting under someone's door step for the rain to stop...hmmmmm, i know if this was a hindi movie things would have turned very differently, but this is my life we are talking about so no such chances!!! Anyways since I was standing there I thought I could met up with tinky and husband on their way back home and actually giver her her share of bhakar wadi. So I met them chatted up a bit shared some bhakarwadi and then they dropped me off at a place from where I could get a cycle rickshaw, anyways since it had stopped raining so I thought I will walk down, but right there at that turning there is this pao bhaji wala who claims to dish out pao bhaji just like you get in mumbai (which btw is all bullshit they can try as much as they want, but they can never even get near the original!!) Anyways, since i'm sitting fried street food land sometimes it is nice to have stuff like this. So I asked for 2 pao bhajis to be packed and one masala pao to be heehee consumed by yours truly. The point is masala pao is suppose to be exactly what it is called, i.e. masal pao, but this character seemd to think that I have ordered butter pao with some some red concoction on it!! Oh how I miss masala pao from DPs (which btw is Durga Parmeshwari, bang opposite Ruia in Matunga, Mumbai from where I graduated). Hmph, the amount of butter this man put would have made karela and tinda also taste great, anyways I just gobbled up what was dished out remembering all the old times in DPs and college and went off home.

Ofcourse if you are looking for great pao bhaji in Mumbai, the best place is not the beach, but this lane called 'khao galli' This literally means a lane of food!!! and it actually is a lane full of street foods of mumbai. (PS I have'nt been there in a bit so I dont know about any recent demolitions, new erections etc so pliss to be xcusing!) Now the pao bhaji that you get here is divine!!! specially there is this red garlic chutney that they give with the bhaji on chopped onions which is totally mind blowing. Apart from pb, you get a vcariety of sandwichs, vada pao, south 8indian snacks. usal and misal pao, dabeeli and fruit juices and shakes!! Yum yum total treat. Oh ofcourse most important, this lane is situated in between VT and Churchgate station, right behind fashion street on one end and behind SNDT Univ on the other end. So if you do go there you must!!!

English and Hindi, more than mere languages

2008-07-31T14:22:00.002+05:30

Let me also make this blog a space where the people who have so far stayed protected from corporate world can get an insight into the fundas of this world and what a strange world this is!!
First of all the insistence on use of abbreviations just gets to me EOD, COB, PFA, PDA, the lsit just goes on man! (well for the blissfully ignorant ones: End Of Day, Close of Bussiness, Please Find Attached, Please Download Attachment) phew!!!
Secondly, today I learnt that that most of the stuff that is talked about is pure english, but the actual stuff which mostly doesnt happen is Hindi...... didn't get it na.... i know I was also wondering what on earth is going on, then I was very patiently explained that english means just funda, concept, good packaging, great power point presentations, portals, posters, basically just faff and talk. While on the other hand Hindi is the bottom level, actual, hard core stuff. So in the corporate world you need to be clear about what is being expected of you and what is being given to you english or hindi!!! truly a learning for hard core hindi like me!!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz

2008-07-31T12:08:00.001+05:30

Finally tis raining in Delhi and the weather is beautiful, I should have been on my terrace having chai and listening to music and obviously soaking myself in the rain, but I am sitting in this AC office where even the windows are covered with blinds and it is sooooo cold and I want to sleep so zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Airport Security

2008-07-31T10:00:00.002+05:30

Was in Nagpur and lost my wallet and as a consequence lost all identification cards i possesed. Did the necessary stuff, went amd lodged a police complaint etc etc etc, but my biggest worry was that how will I reach Delhi, I only have a print out of my e ticket with no I card to go with it..... so I could clearly envisage a lot of pleading and explaining at the Nagpur airport and was a bit nervous about the whole thing as apparently there is a lot of security check at airports being good targets for terrorist attacks. I also had a collegue with me for moral support and to make sure that I do get on to some plane going in the direction of delhi.
Step 1 the entrace of the airport I show my e ticket print out and with confidence stroll into the airport ...phew that was easy now comes the real trouble...step 2 check in: Here I am rehearsing my story and with all the relevant papers in my hand including my boarding pass of the flight that I had taken to reach Nagpur just in case I need it. I hand over my e ticket and am all ready to vomit my story on the executive sitting there, after 2 minutes of silence the executive asks me if I have any check in baggage and if I have any seat preference no and window is the answer she receives and then she smiles at me hands me my boarding pass and wishes me a happy journey...all this while she is addressing me with the name printed on the e ticket, but she has no clue whether I am that person or not and just like that with a print out in hand i got into a flight to Delhi......imagine!
Cut to my return trip from Sangli, Pune airport, I have an e ticket in my hand and my i card, I am let in at the entrance of the airport after the security guard has held my e ticket for more that 15 secs and looked at it... I go to the counter of Jet lite and am waiting for my boarding pass.. the executive is taking some time and is shaking her head, I can't understand what is wrong then she informs me that the print out I have handed to her is for an e ticket of 29th June and not July and that she has checked her records for todays flight and my name is not on her records, some franctic phone calls later I am told that I am booked on the Air India flight for Delhi. I rush to the counter for check in and inform the executive that I am on the flight to delhi and dont have a print out of my ticket so on the basis of my I card if she could check me in she is the only one who raises her eyebrow looks at me suspiciously and asks how did you get into the airport?? I tell her that I had an incorrect print out in my hand and therefore the mix up... again I get my boarding pass and am comfortably seated in the plane for reaching Delhi. BTW this is happenning when the police in the country is going crazy discovering live bombs all over the place and there is a red alert in the country.
Like really I have nothing to say.......... either our security agencies will get all extreme and check people to the barest minimum and then recheck them ( and example is the film Aamir) or just let anyone waltz pass them without even doing the basic minimum required. Its just amazing! If this is our plan and idea of beefed up security I think i am any day safer sitting at home. What say?

Jai Jai Maharashtra Majha!!

2008-07-30T12:30:00.000+05:30

I started wrting this yesterday but was so bored that didnt write anything at all. I sometimes think that I should make a diary of all the things I want to write about in my blog because when I do start wrting i phorget!!

SO let me start with my crazy trip to Sangli. I left for Pune on friday night reached there by flight with my crazy roomie who also works in my ex office. She was in high spirits dunno why.. maybe travelling does that to her. Anyways... was travelling in Kingfisher for the frst time so was sitting and judging them, they are ok except I could really do without the video of the owner going on about how he has personally choosen all the staff..!!!!! After reaching Pune we met up with even more crazier collegue and friend in Pune and crazy roomie's crazier younger brother. Started off for a 5 hour drive to Sangli. I was quite apprehensive about bad roads since it is also the monsoon (like real monsoon not just a pretence!!) in that part of the country but I was quite surprised to see that the highway from Pune to Kolhapur was brilliant and ofcourse after every 45 mins we were paying some kind of toll (that just explains it all!!). We reached Sangli and were suppose to look for the house of the District Judge as our hotel was bang opposite it. So at 4 in the morning we were trying to wake innocent people and ask them for the house of the District Judge. For some strange reason our driver would refuse to follow one person's instructions unless he has stopped atleast five time more and asked some more people... anyways we have been told to look for hotel Jyoti by crazy pune friend and when we reach the hotel it is called Lotus residency????? (hope you get an idea of what I mean when I say crazy!!!). We then tried to catch up on some sleep as the meeting was to begin in a couple of hours time. Reached the venue which was bubbling with a number of lawyers and law students, most local, some from kolhapur and satara. Had a great meeting with a number of people showing keen interest in taking this work forward in their city, towns and villages. A success of sorts in that sense. The bigger achivement in my mind was that we were able to get the young people in the audience to start questioning their own beliefs, assumptions and presumptions that they consider the sacred truth especially on issues like death penalty, prostitution, religious minorities, gender and patriarchy and globalisation. All in all the meeting was fabulous, the food was great, authentic Maharashtrian and the weather.......ooooh don't even get me started on that it was heavenly!! It is the kind of weather where you forget about the worries of the world and just get a couple of friends a backpack and go on treks to sometimes explored and sometimes unexplored terrain!!!

I completely ODed on the food especially the use of peanuts in just about everything...OMG I can't even explain what that did to me.........I just know that atleast for me if there is no penis atleast let there be peanuts (only in the food mind you!!) and the effect will be the same! Also did some shopping, bought typical Maharastrian nose ring the one that is slightly longish and also bought typical Mah toe rings, basically am ready to be Mah bride, come on bring out the guys!!! And bought a whole load of bindis, I know you will be wondering kya pagal hai Delhi main Bindi nahin milti kya?? But FYI the bindi makers in Delhi think that you wear a Bindi only on 2 occaaions either it is you shaadi or someonelse's shaadi get my point??? Good now am waiting for occassion to display mines nose ring!!

While coming back stopped at Chitale Bandhu in Pune to buy loads of Bhakarwadi..tinky you interested?? and at German Bakery to buy some yummy cake. Also had pretty much a fiasco at the Airport as I had an incorrect print out of my ticket and was panicking just a bit that I would be considered a threat and jailed or something but was able to rescue self soon. Will write about airport security in a seperate post. Tada till then!!

Well lots of things!!

2008-07-23T11:31:00.001+05:30

Ok so I was meaning to write this yesterday, but somehow i didnt. Hmm I have been catching up with an old friend by reading her blog of 5 years ago.. and I realised that I have finished reading around 3 years of blogs written every week and lo and behold, there is not even an iota of dear old ME!!!!!! tauba,!!! even though she has written very passionately about NCC the reason we got to know each other and about her dog, the reason we had gotten close.. just made me sit and think that for a number of people who know me it must be the same feeling, you know that I am important for them but they are not important for me. So its not that I am sulking about not being important for u tinky...... we were actually not in touch and therefore I am reading your blog to get to know you. For me you were always someone I can call and listen to the latest pjs laugh my guts out and get on with life and I think that will definitely not change. Ofcourse now we being in the same city and me being a lot more free makes it easier for me to keep in touch. Teehee, i dont even know why I am rambling like this, but what the hell, aur kiss liye blog likh rahi hoon??

Also I saw Jaane tu ya Jaane na again!! heehee I know how silly, but tis okay, i like movie, i watch again. And please, someone tell the couple who were seated beinhd my behind that Sushant in Jaane tu is not the same guy who was Anshuman in Jab we met, kya hai are u blind???

Me travelling again this weekend going to maratha land and back, will write about that after I am back!! Hmmm I have been thinking about writing about serious topics but haven't yet got around to doing that, dekhtey hain.

I am back back back!!!!

2008-07-21T16:08:00.003+05:30

Hmmm as I said before, don't really know where is home..but anyways am back to the place i call home in the Delhi!!! Although came to office directly from train station (i know stinky poo, but what to do, they don't give chutti, so we come to office dirty!! (OMG poetry just happened..yipee!)). Hmm did loads of things, ate vada pao (tinky u readin??), ate sabudana kichdi, played and played with bholaprasad nephew, made fun of sis with Bro in law, discussed investment plans, cooly avoided topic of current love interest, if any, did some itsy bitsy shopping and then was back in train. Also finished readg Hobbit, five point someone and some more parts of maximum city. Chatted with chaddi dost a bit and then came back!! Aur kya will write about 5.someone soon..promise!!

Going Home Going Home tra la la la la

2008-07-18T11:34:00.002+05:30

Hellos peoples... heeheehee in about 5 hours time I will be on train to home.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although i know its only for around 30 hours and then I will be back on a train to this home, but so what?? Working in a crazy place before has made me realise the importance of atleast getting home for a day or so and then getting back. Ofcourse Suchi can't seem to understand how I do it, but I guess its ok for me. Better than going home only once a year. Which also brings me to another point... which one is home, that place where i spent 20 years of my life or this place where i started living on my own and discovered myself?? It can be so strange... I am going from home to home. I think i already know what women who get married and leave home feel.
Anywhichways... am glad to do this 2 day thing so that i can catch glimpses of my nephew growing up, chat up with my sister, pull her leg with my darling BIL and make me sweetheart mom feel guilty for not taking chutti on saturday..(teehee evil laughter!!)
Bye bye will see you in a few!!

Why women's rights?

2008-07-16T16:10:00.000+05:30

Ok so I was in Nagpur this weekend, I am still doing trainings and travel with my previous organisation whenever I can. We had a meeting on Human Rights issues with students of the Law college in Nagpur. I was to speak on women's rights. Due to some change in the agenda, I had to follow the session by Ram Punyani on Communalism and boy was I worried, because this session was a roaring one, very interactive, humourous and amazingly insightful!!! Anyways most of what I am about to pen down is what I had spoken.

Somewhere last decemeber we had a meeting of the women's rights lawyers in the country where we wanted to do a reality check on where we were and the way ahead. So obviously we also did discuss a lot of perspective issues. One of the main and key questions was are we human rights lawyers or women's rights lawyers. In my head I was quite clear, boss I am a women's rights lawyer, no two wasy about that and in any case that makes me a human rights lawyer (you know, women=human get the picture??)

Anyways so when we say that we are women's rights actvists, we dont mean we are against men, no what we are standing up against is gender burdens that both have to face, the patriarchial set up and the exploitation of the vulnerable by the powerful...thats all. And if in this context, if it has been the men who have been in power for so long and exploited women so be it... then there is the argument of women being the biggest enemey of women, but what we conviniently loose sight of is that it is the powerful woman oppressing the powerless woman and that situation can be between any two set of people. The way our histroical set up has been, it is women, dalits, disabled, sexual minoroties who get exploited as they are in most cases powerless in comparision to the men, upper castes etc.

I have come to realise that the best way to start of a discourse on women's rights is to assure the audience that this is not a male hating, man bashing session but just an attempt for us to go beyond our assumptions and actually start questioning them. Scratch the surface and see, really is this reality or is it only the perception!!! And then we will get our answers and we can actually look beyond the assumed obvious and live a life free of shackles.

Monkey Maddness!!

2008-07-15T12:57:00.003+05:30

Ho hum.... tuesday morning...was able to make it to office on Monday, although not in time as usual so in that sense this week started a little differently... actually very differently first of all I was in Nagpur for a human rights meeting and I lost my wallet!!! Boohoooo it had all the things that you can think a wallet can contain and even more! So anyways I came back and spent some part of my monday morning in damage control and then went to office came back and cooked dinner and happily went to sleep.. Of course, I am reading the Hobbit and strangely whatever i read I dream of so it becomes thoda difficult for me to differentiate between reality and dream world. Now that I think of it, I think it is the same for a lot of my life!!! (Anubha concentrate, that's not what you started this for remember... monkey??!!)

Haan so anyways, I get up this morning to a smiling help and a great morning and I decide to make some lovely breakfast (I have been craving for hot toast filled with aloo masala for ever now.... the amount of cravings I am having I will have to stop blaming PMS for it!!) So i made some of that and with a plate full of sandwiches was just getting out of my kitchen. Before I move further let me tell you a little bit about my house. So it is on the 4th floor and is on the terrace and we have three different doors all in a straight line, one leading to one room, the other to the kitchen and the third to a set of two rooms. I get out of the kitchen adn just in time I see a monkey sitting on the ledge of the wall next to my room.....panic panic i lock myself in the kitchen and start calling out to suchi whose room is with mine and I tell her not to open the door as there is a monkey sitting there (pause: now suchi is someone who gets startled even if you walk past her into your own room at any point of time, sometimes i think she is going to have a heart attack if i walk past too often!!!) so anyways she starts banging the door to make the monkey go away. I muster some courage and open the kitchen door adn get out to see where is the monkey... well the monkey is happily sitting in the passage on the rack where we keep our prized ceramic bowls and glasses etc. I run back into the kitchen and suchi continues to bang the door.. obviously, this is not getting anywhere so i run into the other room and wake our third counter part who quite sleepily gets up and goes out of the room and picks up a broom lying on the terrace to scare the monkey, by now we discover there are two monkeys!!!! As soon as she threatens the monkey with a broom he/she jumps towards us.... we both (with her wide awake now!!!) scamper back into the room and wait.....tick tock tick tock.... in the meanwhile we use technology and call suchi on her mobile to find out the status (she btw is still banging the door!!). She informs us that from her window she cannot see the monkeys but she is sure they are in my room as she can hear noises there. I decide that I have to go and see what havock are these monkeys creating in my room (ofcourse this is only to get updated, coz I am very clear that I can't do jackshit about this!!) as soon as I open the door I see one monkey running away with a boiled potato in his hand, (whcih was in my fridge yikes!!) adn the other one has a packet of pistachios again plundered from my fridge in his hand, i wait and wait and then go out looking in all directions possible at the same time and then enter my room tiptoed... oh hell!! my entire room is filled with scattered boiled potatoes which i had saved for a rainy day (like this one!!)

Anyways i reach office and everyone is of the opinion that this is the wrath of lord hanuman.. as you see the logic is quite simple i lost my wallet on a saturday, which is hanuman's day and today is tuesday which (again) is hanuman's day and i get attacked by monkeys!! (hanuman in case you haven't noticed is a monkey god!) Clearly I see the begining of a new superstition!! and here i thought since in the hindu religion there are 300 crore gods and goddess each one will have a day to itself maybe once in my lifetime!! Anyways will visit some temple near home and say hello to lord monkey!!

Kathak kidhar??

2008-07-04T12:02:00.003+05:30

With the new found 'free' time, I am out to conquer all that i always wanted to do but didnt have the time or the money for it. Well all that good intention saw the first victory in salsa classes..... so then the next step that we had decided was kathak. I have been dying to learn kathak ever since i can think. Of course my shcool in mumbai only offered Bharatnatyam so I promptly learnt BHarat natyam, but as soon as I had finished learning the steps, my teacher had a row with the school authorities so that ended right there. Then we had this new teacher who was one stylish babe and I was'nt particularly fond of her but anyways I started again with the steps and as soon as I had finished the steps again this teacher left my school. Ofcourse this time I atleast reached the first compilation Alaripu, but that ended there. After this my dancing was limited to some filmi stuff on stage and in gatherings of relatives!!!

So now my quest to learn Kathak began. I did some net searching and found a list of addresses and phone numbers of institutes taht offer Kathak. So yesterday I promptly started calling up those numbers. To my horror I was informed by the most reputed institutes that the forms had been filled in in June and the selection process was over!!! Oh hell why was I sleeping all this while???? Then most of the others asked my how old was my child for whom I was enquiring about the class!!!! Hey Bhagwan!! Anyways, I shall not be discouraged by these narrow minded people, so waht if I am 28 years old and it is too late, don't you remember, better late than never!!!!

You and I

2008-07-01T17:48:00.005+05:30

Picked up something from a very interesting blog, really liked it a lot and therefore..... heehee!! It speaks volumes of where I am in life right now.....

You...Sometimes I wish to be near you all the time
Just be there, so that you wouldn't know,
But I would stand there in the shadows & watch you live.

Draw the shades in the morning,
when the sunshine on your face troubles you,
the only time when you can still dream without fear, or apology.
Or the weight of responsibility that you carry so well, without a whimper.
Or the way that you look when you concentrate too hard on something,
almost like you would burst out in laughter,
if someone only broke the ice, but you don't.

You just look through people & things,
as if they do not even exist,
all the while as you draw them in, as inspiration.

And I...Curious as I am,
for everything unknown though afraid of the same things at the same time.
When I am tangled you let me loose,
and then let me come back as if nothing ever happened at all.
Makes me wonder sometimes if there is really a great unexplained plan for us all,
something that once has happened, could never again be.

And yet I know that I will break away & break everything that comes in my way,
but I will want back in, you will let me & I'll wonder whether to stay.
But with you I don't need to stay, or leave all I need to do is live.

And let go.

Mood swings!!

2008-06-30T18:06:00.002+05:30

Well I have been meaning to write for quite some time now...but there were/are so many things going on in my life that I would like to talk about, but this is surely not the best place for that (sadly). In any case I have learnt the hard way to not always share everything as it is a possiblity that details may get quoted out of context resulting in havoc in life in general. Also I can't really make up my mind about whether I am better now or was I better last week.... well actually there was something that I wanted to do last week, but this time I had resolved that I won't succumb to my emotions and will be practical etc etc, but unfortunately, that was causing me a lot of grief... and frankly I am the kind who will do waht she wants, when she wants and as soon as she has the desire to do it so a week long wait was kiling me. But today I did do it, but i don't have the desired effect. So I actually dont know whether that was better or this is better!!!! Confused??? its ok so am I

Pride and Prejudice

2008-06-30T17:45:00.003+05:30

I just finished re reading an online version of pride and prejudice, by Jane Austen. As an adolescent, I was in love with this book, i thought it was so romantic, so perfect and all of that. But after having re read it, I realised, I should have let that impression of the book remain. In an attempt to refresh the romance of the book I have come face to face with the chauvinistic thread running from chapter to chapter. How the biggest pre occupation of the mother right since her first daughter turned sixteen was to have her daughters married to eligible bachelors, the kind of social boycott the family is threatened with when Lydia elopes with Wickham. The kind of criticizm Elizabeth faces for being able to speak her mind!!! There seems to be no romance left in this book and I only resolved to finish it with the hope of finding some element of it in the end atleast when Lizzy and Mr. Darcy reveal their true feelings for each other. Uff.... I think I was happier imagining that this was the best book I had read and always wanted to go back to it when I felt like. Of course now no more!!! So much for the background on women's rights!!

Salsa in a feminist world!

2008-06-19T12:35:00.003+05:30

I have started learning salsa recently, have been in for 5 classes now. One of my colleague kept saying that this is a very scientific dance but i could'nt really figure out why she said that until the last class. Till now we were mostly learning the basic steps and were practising them on our own in class, but now we have started doing partner work and that's where the whole issue lies. It is the guy who leads in salsa and the woman has to only follow his cues. Now I seem to have a problem with this as I like to think for myself and may not really like to follow my partner all the time in the dance. I mean I may not want to do a right turn when he is leading me to do one, so then what happens? So i realsi in this class there are again a lot of things that I am going to unlearn and relearn....uffff.

The other aspect that I realised was that if the guy can only give cues which the woman has to follow then the tuning between the two partners has to be perfect, thats where the scientific bit comes in. It is about understanding each other really well and it is also about the guy knowing exactly what the girl wants. There are also aspects like you don't give your hand to the guy till he asks for it...so it is about the guy getting what he is asking for, but it is aslo about the girl giving only the things asked for not more not less. Not much of an option here isn't it!

Anywhich ways, its is thoroughly an enjoyable dance and it is also attempting to bring out the feminine, seductive side in me!!

Harry Potter and the world in general

2008-06-18T12:41:00.005+05:30

Well, since this new job gives me a lot more time in my hands, not only after office but also in office, I decided that I should catch up on a lot of reading that had been pending for quite some time. My colleague introduced me to e versions of Harry Potter. All these years I kept wondering what the hell is the big deal??? why is everyone going crazy about HP? but then i discovered..... now in a months time I have finished reading 7 HP and am left feeling a void, now what??? There is constantly this feeling in my head somewhere that I will soon discover my own magical abilities and join the HP league of wizards and witches (ofcourse a lot of people who know me would think that I already am a witch, especially my mom who would lovingly call me and my sis 'chudail' when we were young). But i must say here that HP series have changed the way I look at the magical world, the whole image that was in my head about this world was of ghosts and witches who loved scaring the shit out of you, thats what has always been shown in the movies, there are very few which actually showed magic in good light and then the ramsay brothers did not leave any stone unturned to confirm my fears with the magical world. Ofcourse there were few things which did want me to have some magic in mylife like Shazaam, which was a cartoon that would be aired on DD2 during summer holidays in Mumbai.

I had thought that HP would be very childish and I may not enjoy it that much, but I was in for a complete surprise when I had read around 20 pages of the first HP, coz there was no turning back I had gotten completely sucked into the world of Harry Potter and all that happened around him. The seventh one is over now and I wish I could have a wand and a broomstick to use... Bye bye harry, hope to see you again.